And You Know, It's Love...

A Gay?

2012-01-31T01:23:00.003+08:00

went to his house yesterday to visit his parents for this CNY.
finally on day 8.
shall reduce the days i'm going for performances next year 'cause it's really tiring me out way too far.
anyways,
the main point of this post is:
when he was having his dinner and the SK-II commercial was being played on the tv,

the ambassador: "being fair is a girl's long term job"
him: "what is this. waste money!"
me: "you should be happy i'm prefer to be tanned! help us save alot of money!"
him: "ya! (nods) so...you're not a girl"
me: "so you're a gay???? o.O"

and we both went laughing like crazy.
hahahahahahha!

Intolerable.

2012-01-26T23:51:00.003+08:00

when one is in a group doing project works,
it isn't one's time he/she is delaying when procrastination steps in.
it's the whole group.
and when it comes to rushing for deadlines,
the whole team suffers.
so for those who always say i hurry things 1 week in advance of due date,
now you know why i have to do this.
the delay and rushing of the whole team is exactly what i want to prevent.
you see,
if the group finishes everything on time,
there's no need to rush,
there's no need for anyone to feel so bad and tired at the end of the day.
i really don't tolerate any lateness in work unless you have a good reason.
call me mad or whatever you want but this is how i work.
due dates and deadlines don't have to be there if you don't abide to it.
if you are doing solo,
do whatever you like.
but if you are in a group,
please,
be mindful and considerate to the others.
nobody has the whole time in the world just waiting for you.
everybody is busy!!!!!!!!!!

Silence.

2011-12-10T00:53:00.001+08:00

'cause i am really not happy lately.

Taurus

2011-12-08T19:18:00.001+08:00

when in love, a taurus loves the partner wholeheartedly.
willing to give in all,
stay extremely devoted,
giving chances and chances over and over again.
but once she decides to leave you for the better,
'cause she finds no point holding on further,
she will leave with no turning back at all,
getting you out of her life completely regardless of how much pain it takes.

if one day i decide to leave you,
don't ever waste your time trying to salvage stuffs 'cause it will come to no good conclusion.

Human Changes.

2011-11-28T23:10:00.001+08:00

Him: "i want to go for a short trip"
Me: "when? Where?"
Him: "you can't make it one.preferably first two weeks of dec."
Me: "why are you tempting me?! You know i have got MST on first week and the rest are filled up for FYP!!!"
Him: "told you you can't make it. Heh"

Damn.
Nevermind i shall full blast my Genting trip and while he's working next year,
I shall go overseas on my own and tempt him like what he's doing now.

It saddens to see one change for the worse.
The world would have been more beautiful if everyone can be more understanding towards each other.

Boring.

2011-11-28T10:53:00.001+08:00

stagnant blog.
life's been pretty mundane.
ever since school started,
everything just revolves around assignments, reports, FYP, training.
hardly even have the time for myself.
hardly even get enough rest.
glad i didn't work or not i think i would have died from tiredness.
and now, MST is coming up.
not at all prepared.
the very last MST i'm going to have and i really don't want to screw it up.
not going to attend weekday trainings till MST is over.
tests are way more important now as compared to training.
please don't force me into something i don't want to.
i know the time is tight for the upcoming event thus more preparation is needed.
but right now,
tests matter so much more than anything else.

River Island.

2011-11-20T00:38:00.001+08:00

oh yes!
bought a new wallet finally.
not that i have been wanting to buy one when my old one is working properly.
that old one of mine had a sticky coin compartment all thanks to the melted rubber that i placed it in there for around 2 months and forgotten to take it out.
lesson learn,
never leave another one in any enclosed, humid area for long 'cause you're just asking for more trouble and donating more to Singapore's economy.
heh.

anyways,
was searching online for purses/wallets.
came by this and i have got the urge to buy it online.
but since training's timing changed,
decided to go out at night.
went catching the light up ceremony of the Christmas lightings at Orchard.
will update more about that when i have got the time.
most likely is when i feel like updating it.
HAHA!
am glad i went out to buy this.
much cheaper than getting it online! =)
love the compartments and many cards slots inside.
made my day even happier!
gonna update more some time later.

just wishing for everything to be fine and alright tomorrow.

Feels

2011-11-12T00:50:00.001+08:00

Many times i keep things to myself.
Especially those negative ones 'cause i really don't like to make someone elses day lousy 'cause of me.
So many times i ended up crying alone to sleep,
hoping that everything will be well and fine the next day.

Lots of things happened this week...
And i'm glad i'm going back on track again.
Though...
I lost something and now i'm moving on alone without it.
Haven't gone back to the happy mood but at the very least,
I felt much better as compared to Monday.
I know this time round it's going to take a longer time for me to be happy again.

I need to grow stronger and i know i can.

Fun Life.

2011-11-06T10:41:00.000+08:00

so yeap,
we went for Rona's birthday celebration yesterday.
with that bunch of people whom i don't need to care how i will embarrass myself and throw my face off totally.
had so much laughters and fun.
and i came to think when was the last time i had so much fun.
tracking back,
it was way before when i started my ITP or even way before that whereby it was too long and i can't even remember that anymore.
damn my life.

that explains why i'm so eagerly waiting for the arrival of December and my graduation in SP.
so sick and tired of study.
assignments after assignments,
projects after projects,
presentations after presentations,
tests after tests,
examinations after examinations.
for my plan now,
i don't even want to continue Uni straight.
shall go to work first,
earned myself enough money and i shall go on a tour to wherever i want to go.
by then i will be fully recharged for the start of a new study life in Uni if i ever get into one.

Bad Health.

2011-11-03T21:06:00.000+08:00

the very first time i suffered such a bad cramp today in my whole entire life.
the very first time i had migraine and such bad stoamchache for 3days straight before the start of this new cycle.
this cause me to think whether my body is getting from bad to worse.
i told the man and he said maybe this new body gonna stick with me for the rest of my life.
sucks max.
i don't want.
i want back that body where i don't suffer from cramps and all!!!
return it back to me for goodness sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weddings.

2011-11-01T13:18:00.000+08:00

from young till now,
i have always loved weddings.
such a huge significance it has on the lovers.
with so much love and happiness,
they walk down the red aisle blissfully,
accepting all the cheers and blessings as they walk into the next phase of their lives.
parents smile with pride,
tears with joy,
mixed with some upset feelings 'cause they can't bear to let their children go.

i love those pretty gowns,
so what if it's heavy!?
it's once in a lifetime anyways.
and i'm so determine to save lots of money so i can have the wedding that i want it to be like.
filled with videos and beautiful scenes.
most importantly,
i want my wedding gowns to be from Vera Wang!
they're just so stunning, sophiscates and elegant.
if yu don't know how beautiful they are,
just google it!

after seeing so many weddings lately,
i started to develop more and more ideas for the kind of wedding i like to have.
and all these make me want to get married as soon as i can once i saved up the amount of money that i need!

=(

2011-10-23T23:32:00.002+08:00

suffered wearing long pants for the whole of last week due to practicals and FYP labs.
and seriously,
the group of people who caused the need to wear long pants in W3 should feel guilt of what they had done.
'cause they made the whole school got to wear long pants from then on.
damn?
yeah i know,
i feel the pain much better than you do 'cause i'm the one doing it.

and so i went taking a look at my timetable just again for this coming week starting tomorrow.
need to wear long pants for all school days once again.
very same reasons,
either practicals or FYP.
if not,
both.
guess this won't change until either one of our practicals end or December strikes soon when we need to end our FYP.

being able to wear shorts/skirts are the very reasons why i'm so looking forward to weekends or public holidays now.

Yes or No?

2011-10-21T22:49:00.001+08:00

hmm...
training tomorrow going to be a tad boring i guess.
for sure i know the man's not going.
he's off to be a brother for his colleague's wedding.
after some experiences of drinking with him,
i seriously hope he will be fine tomorrow after those crazy amounts of alcohol that's going into his body.
prays hard.
parents won't be at home 'cause they will be off to watch a concert.
this makes me feels weird staying at home 'cause there's not much for me to do,
no mum's food.
and if i were to go for training tomorrow,
i have got no idea who will be there.
caught in a dilemma.
to go to training or should i just get stuck at home?

Bad Opening.

2011-10-19T21:52:00.001+08:00

school started on Monday.
much as i was excited for the opening of school to keep me occupied,
today's incident killed off the whole excitement i had regarding school reopening.

so much so for FYP,
i think it's so screwed.
not us but ya.
not going to go into it.
those who have my blog password,
you just log in to read if you're interested to find out ok? =)
all that i can say to the rest,
the whole incident upset our whole group that's all.
i haven't felt this pissed off for so long already.
if we had known this project to be so IC base,
we wouldn't have chosen this right at the start during balloting.

hope everything gonna be fine from now on.
i mean, really.
one assignment to be handed in this Friday,
first formal report came in too.
i have got no more time to dwell in this anymore.
just hope history doesn't repeats itself!

Upcoming Excitements.

2011-10-12T01:44:00.002+08:00

so i have been slacking all right through for the whole holidays other than the times when i did FYP.
anyways,
this is holidays right?
it's right for me to slack!
haha!
if only i manage to find more jigsaw puzzles that are not pricey,
i would have made more other than only 2!
school's starting soon.
next Monday to be exact.
feel like skipping 'cause the timetable really don't look interesting for one to attend with such lousy planning on the first day of school.
but year 3 seems to suffer a different fate.
labs start right smack on the first week,
lessons start immediately.
but at least it's better than me doing nothing and rotting all the way.
it's the last semester already anyway! =)
and to make this semester even better,
be happy that those lecturers i never loved and enjoyed their lessons any single bit are now gone!
this is so going to be the best gift for this very last semester in SP.
~~i hope.~~

up next after school reopens,
6th November,
wine appreciation costing $35.
psycho-ing the man to pay on my behalf.
he nodded his head to give the approval of us going anyways.
'cause if he doesn't go i won't go too!
me going to love this loads.
gonna just drink drink and drink.

then it's all well in December.
Genting trip confirmed,
cousins wanted to go KL in December too and i hope my 2nd aunt can confirm fast.
FYP last lap at that time and i guess i won't be able to go away so frequently.
it's better to make arrangements earlier than being last minute.
and,
FYP lab work will end by Christmas and then followed by report writing.
at least,
no more labs and the inhaling of all those toxic fumes which i have been inhaling since May!!!!
and then faster than time seems to move,
the last examination arrive and that marks Graduation!
yes!

so looking forward to these upcoming events!

Baking? HALT !

2011-10-07T14:30:00.000+08:00

yes i know those above looks so yummy,
mouth-watering.
how i wish i can grab them out from the screen to have a bite on them now.
muffin, cakes, cupcakes, cheesecakes, cookies.

hmm baking....
much as i miss baking 'cause i had been baking whenever i felt like eating any baked stuffs that i could make out of the oven previously,
i really couldn't bring myself up to bake lately.

and those reasons are:
1. frequent bakings = frequent usage of money = me saving very little money + making me feel broke.
yes i feel this heartache every single time especially when i need to buy ingredients that cost a bomb!saving money is now made more difficult for me when i save soely on my weekly allowance. serve me right for not going out to work? erm, i think i have worked enough previously and i should really have a break before the real working life starts. it's not too long from now anyways.so why shouldn't i rest and do something that i haven't done for a long time or just to take time out for myself to R&R? and i really need to save money for the upcoming Genting trip. SGD$350. glad i still have some savings all along. but i would need to sav up to this amount before i lay my hands on baking once again.
2. time consuming : those ingredients made up to alot when the mixings are done. and i have that one and only super small oven. not those type which is beng planted into those walls/stoves so how possibly i bake in large batches? so i end up splitting them every single time i bake = much time needed. worse still when i bake cookies. heh. if only i have those ovens, perhaps that wouldn't dampen my mood so much.
3. weighing scale : i'm not refering to that weighing scale to weight yor flour etc. i use measuring cups anyway. is good to see your weight going down. i really don't want to waste off my effort that i have been putting in especially when i see the shedding of 3kg of fats! hahahah! and it's only 1kg more to my first checkpoint. hopefully no more baking for some time will do me good.

much as the above three reasons,
there is one more cake that i really want to bake.
and i guess it will be the first thing i am going to bake once i start baking again.
and that is,

the all along classic : RED VELVET CAKE!!!!!!!

Blissed & Blessed.

2011-10-02T01:02:00.000+08:00

these few weeks of holidays have been fun.
not needing to work = plenty of time for the things i want to do, sleep as long as i want, just go with the flow of my feeling.
of course i have no money coming in other than saving up from my weekly allowance.
but i don't really care.
at least i get to really rest and do what i want at any time.
haha!
FYP's so far so good but i can see the demanding part of more lab experiments and the hectic part of a super thick report coming in.
oh wells,
whatever.
shall take things a step at a step.

am very happy yesterday.
i mean just now, Sat.
settled my itch for trying out how great Texas Chicken was.
am glad dearest didn't get recall from army 'cause if he gotten it,
there goes this meal!
called for the sampler's meal since it was on promotion and i don't want to spend too much of the man's money.
stay within budget is the point yes?
hurhur.
overall i would say,
i will only go back there again for the chilli sauce when i'm craving for it next time.
it's different from the rest of the chilli sauce provided by other fast food outlets.
at least it's spicy and not those sweet sweet kind.
it totally increase the taste of the chicken.
the chicken meat itself for those that we have gotten were well marinated and very succulent.
but it was kind of a small portion even for the 1 piece chicken given in the meal that consisted of winglets and tenders too.
i still prefer Popeye's though their biscuits were tougher.
at least the mashed potato and french fries taste so much better than Texas.

and then during training,
here comes the Reese that has been lying in the fridge for 2 weeks or so.
and i melted so much of them in my mouth.
good thing it was a big pack and so,
everybody have got a few of them.
did a negative thing while teaching the kids to play dragon music instruments though.
ate those chocolates while teaching them and i remembered how the adults taught us not to eat during training last time when we were young =X.

whatever it is,
i'm so happy! =)

What A Day!

2011-09-26T23:17:00.002+08:00

pretty alright for the morning till evening.
and i'm seriously glad that my bowel is working well for these few days.
i'm kind of getting the habit of going to clear those shit in my body once i wake up from my sleep in the morning/afternoon.
may this continue and it will definitely benefit me for not needing to fear of stomach aches and start rushing to find a toilet when i'm out.
better still when i'm overseas!
oh yea!

ok,
back to the main thing.
it all happened after dinner just now.
i needed to take my printer out to the living room to do some scanning so i can email those printed graphs that i had for our FYP products.
and just when i carried the printer out from my room,
hardly even 5 steps,
those ink came leaking out as though the tap was being turned on.
and guess what colour came out?
M-A-G-E-N-T-A!
and it was so concentrated in colour that it looked so red just like blood.
so now i have got those ink stained onto both my hands and my legs.
how great!
could have finished scanning those graphs so much earlier if not for that 1 hour used to clear up the mess.
so those who says using flowing ink catridges instead of those sponge type is better,
i seriously beg to differ now.
'cause the whole situation would be different if it were those sponge type catridges that i am using.
and to make things worse,
my laptop just couldn't start up to the main page for me to key in my password to log on.
imagine it being stucked at the very first starting screen for about an hour when i cleared the mess cause by the printer?!
'cause it freaking used that long.
in fact,
even longer.
seeing it having no progress,
i attempted to restart.
but even after restarting,
it didn't help.
thank goodness i always see how those professionals repair all these software problems when they fixed the desktops/laptops.
i pressed the exact same buttons and hola!
it worked!
i'm glad it worked!
and by that time,
it was 2015hours.
if none of these corked up in the beginning,
i guess i would have completed those scanning and keying in of results at that hour instead of an hour later.

learning from mistakes and to prevent such miserable stuffs from happening again,
i emptied all the ink in the catridges and i shall refill in the next time when i need to print something.
i don't really need to print much stuffs and i'm afraid of those inks anyway.
'cause they smudge too much once a little drop of water come in contact with them after printing.
definitely not the same kind of ink and standard i get when i pay those aunties at the printing shops in school or outside.
so why risk when you know you gonna lose some important lecture notes in the end or get penalised 'cause the lecturer drips his/her drinks on your practical report while marking?
(yes, practical reports are very important for science students!)

oh ya!
i'm going to stop baking for awhile till i save enough money for my upcoming trip in December.
so from what i calculated,
it will be till about late November/early December that i resume baking!

Meidi-Ya Is Loved!

2011-09-18T02:41:00.001+08:00

Have been wanting to buy green tea powder for a long time so i can bake things out from this favourite of mine.
But singapore supermarkets just don't carry enough of these!
Went searching at ntuc with all variations of different purposes, went phoon huat but just couldn't find it.
So i resort to google for solutions.
Results were plenty.
Most said 'you can try (insert mart's name)'
And after looking through a few,
the confirm-guarantee-chop-stamp one is MEIDI-YA at Liang Court selling different brands at different prices.
Since i didn't have the time to go shopping previously, now that it's holidays and dearest have the car,
off we went!

Didn't really search high and loe 'cause i knew where it would be placed at.
It's good to do some homework online before going to somewhere new!
Haha!
Didn't get a shock from the price too.
Was mentally prepared for the steep price as soon from many comments and the supermarket's online store.
Am glad i went down 'cause there were slightly more varieties to choose from and it's a little cheaper than online.
Wanted to buy wasabi biscuits but didn't find any in the store! =(
But nevermind,
at least i got what i wanted and i'm happy enough!!! =)

Now,
should i land my hands on making green tea cookies or green tea cupcakes???

Screw Life

2011-09-13T13:45:00.000+08:00

because as you walk down this passage of life,
you will find that there are some different dreams and wishes you can't accomplish with everybody even the ones closest to you.
accept it anot,
this is life!

perhaps those dreams and wishes that i have always thought to be able to accomplish with you would never ever come true.
it's time to slap myself awake.
real hard.

怪

2011-09-09T12:56:00.003+08:00

这个世界很奇怪。
偏偏有些人根本就没礼貌还敢感地骂别人“没礼貌”，
你说这些人怪不怪？

连续几晚下来我累了。
恨不得快点冲凉然后赶快睡觉。
昨天，
终于回到家，
在家门前等着她进门等的我开始不耐烦的时候，
她终于走进来了。
反正钥匙在我手上，
我要去关门而她挡在路中央接着从她嘴里传来的是“不要紧，我关”。
气得我摇头了就走回房间。
就当我走进房间时，
外面传来他的声音说我没礼貌。
（如果你要问为什么不把钥匙留在铁门上，那我可以告诉你。
每个人的家都有两个门。一个是铁门，一个是木门/大门。而你需要先把铁门打开，把钥匙拿出来再去开木门然后，再把钥匙拿出来准备去关那铁门。明白吗？）
本来的我是没反应可是我越想越气，
就走出去回了一句“不要讲到你自己很有礼貌！”

可能从上面这件事看来，
好像明明就是我的错我干吗还要回应。
但问题就在这里：
只要我每天早上或无论什么时候有在家的时，
每天早上我都会在房间里听见外面他传来骂她的声音。
而且还很大声。
几乎每天早上都这样。
我有几次都是因为这个他骂她的声音而被吵醒。

而我每次只要她和我说话我都用摇头，点头或其它肢体语言。
总而言之，
我不用到声音（除非真的有必要）。
因为我觉得开口说话语气一点点不好又被讲又被她嫌，
干脆什么话都不说。
说话用我平常的音量她又听不到，
大声一点又被她嫌我把她当聋子。
可这段话可不代表那个骂她的他对她大声是对的。
因为他的话里夹着骂人的字，怨人的字。
口音里夹带着骂人和不爽的语气。

所以我根本不知道为什么他有资格来骂我“没礼貌”！
而我想如果有一天我骂他同一句话时，
他一定有几千几百句来顶撞。
因此到现在，
我还没直接对这些他做的是骂他什么。
除了昨天因为累得半死还被他&她气疯！

总的来说，
这个世界就是怪。

It's Over!

2011-08-31T21:50:00.000+08:00

the last paper today was the worst to finish off.

i don't mean the paper being difficult but 'cause it's 1 week since the last paper that i had,

the feel for taking this very last paper just now wasn't there.

yeap.

it sucks.

left the exam hall about 45mins before the ending time of the paper.

'cause i was done with the answering and i checked through the papers.

those yellings outside to declare the end of exams made my butt not able to warm the seat any longer.

so off i went after the thorough checking.

and so,

i am finally on holidays though i started my holidays since last Wednesday.

hurhur.

next up during the holidays will be nothing but FYP, baking, rest, relax and date.

but the man is going to be away for his army camp for my whole September holidays.

damn.

what to do?

anyway i have decided what to do this weekend.

shall make some cheesecakes this Friday,

refrigerate it for a night and i can have them well and good (i hope. *fingers crossed*) on Saturday.

the man can have them as his gift after his IPPT which he is going to clear in the morning.

but i won't be making those pan sized cheesecakes 'cause from internet reviews,

i need to buy loads of ingredients plus the skills required are totally crazy.

so i'm going to make the mini ones.

so much easier!

hahhahhaha!

and the good thing,

no need to cut etc.

but i need to go and get some paper liners first.

shall go shopping tomorrow for clothes, baking stuffs and most importantly,

help mum to get her concert tickets!

will blog again soon.

我以为。。。

2011-08-30T08:30:00.000+08:00

很想用心地把最后一张考卷该读的东西今晚把它读完可是心情却被影响好多好多。

刚才在傍晚的时候回到家就感觉怎么今天家里的气氛怪怪的。

每次只要我是这个时候回到家，

老妈、老爸和我弟都会一起吃饭。

但今天不一样，

弟还在吃，爸吃饱了而妈在讲电话。

我隐隐约约的听到她说谁谁谁过世了怎么没通知。

我心想因该不是和我们很熟络的人。

妈放了电话，

回去餐桌上把食物吃完，

我也到厨房去准备吃饭。

然后就听到我妈问我弟要不要一起去。

我就好奇地问他们要去哪里。

后来老妈说我婶婆情况危急，

医生说最多只能撑多两个星期。

我大声地“huh”了一下。

再一次同样的答案、妈的泪水已经在眼睛里打转，

我逼自己确认了这个可恶的消息。

每次吃饭都喜欢慢慢吃得我，

把晚餐吃得好快好快。

好想快点到她家去看看她。

见到她了。

她还在吃晚餐只是好不容易能够吃粥的她因身体状况又得改回吃麦片。

她咳得比以前更多了，

感觉得出来她很不舒服。

由于她几年前开始已经不能说话，

所以我们每次都会在她房间聊天让她听偶尔问问她 “对不对？”、“是不是？” 让她知道我们没有忘了她就在旁边。

而她也会用眼生回应我们。

今天一切照旧只是她只是一直看着我们，

不想要回应我们太多。

让我感觉到她好像要把我们每个人的脸记得好好的，

一个都不要忘记。

虽然我没表示出来还在那里一直对她笑着但我的心好酸好酸。。。

我不知道我们还可以这样多久。

到了回家的时候，

妈妈靠在她床边，

边摸着她的脸颊边告诉她，

“我改天再来看你”

妈妈说这句话的时候，

还不到一半就转过头看着我的一个亲戚。

她的眼眶是红的。

而躺在床上的她眼泪已近开始流了下来。

以前说这句话的时候，

对彼此来说是期待下一次的相会但。。。

今天说这句话是，

心里有多么的不肯定与害怕。

我走到她房门口才逼自己说了 “bye bye”。

我讨厌 “再见”，“bye bye” 这类的字所以真的不喜欢说。

因为对我而言，

这些词都是负面的。

哪怕是朋友或亲戚在普通的情况下我也不喜欢说。

医生说得只剩两个星期是假的对不对？

医生的推测永远都是不准的不是吗？

她一定会没事的对吗？

明年的过年我会像今年一样到她家去跟她拜年的对吗？

我不会再相信许愿这个东西了。

永远都不会。

不论是生日或是去拜拜的时候，

我每次许的愿都只有一个。

永远只有唯一的这一个，

“希望全部我认识的人都身体健康，快乐”。

但它每年都没有实现。

今年六月尾，阿伯突然病倒，入住加护病房把我吓得要命。

现在又来这一个。

我真的没有办法一直承受这种压力和打击啊！

世界上真的没有愿望这种东西因为它会永远被残酷的现实压倒。

我曾以为我把死亡已经看得很开了。

今天，

我发现我错了。

我看开的是我接受我迟早都会死。

可是对于我身边的人将离开我，

我根本就放不下，看不开。

因为我不喜欢我认识的人一天天、慢慢地从我的世界永远消失。

Wasn't A Good Day.

2011-08-28T08:55:00.000+08:00

didn't hear my alarm clock ringing for the past half hour until it reached 11am and it was the last time it's going to snooze.
glad i woke up though 30minutes than original time set.
rushed all the way through to get to BPP and i knew at that point of time for sure today isn't going to be good.
reached BPP,
chatted and had lunch.
finally calmed down and thought perhaps it wasn't really that bad.
the uneasy feeling might be only for half a day and i felt relieved for that 'cause i really didn't want it to affect the performance at night.

then while walking back to CC.
i somehow sensed something bad is going to happen when i saw the whole large group of pigeons not far away from me.
probably 30-40steps distance.
i was thinking if i should just fastened my pace and catch up with the man 'cause he gives me all sense of security whenever i needed them.
(he's walking damn fast everytime when we go out as a crowd 'cause he just wants to get to the place fast with maximum shade possible.)
but i decided maybe i am thinking too much and that anything bad wouldn't happen.
and with all my negative premonitions and guesses right everytime,
this time round,
it was the same too.
i was chatting with Rona at sort of the end of the group walking together.
and when it reached the area with lots of pigeons,
i bucked up my courage to walk pass though i was still considered having a distance away from them.
out of nowhere,
someone just step onto the floor to scare off those pigeons so that they would fly in a large group.
me,
having maximum fear and totally zero tolerance for any sorts of two-legged, furry, hairy, flying birds,
i totally hid behind Rona's bag.
i was shocked,
i was scared.
maximum.
i screamed.
and i thought where's the man?
i need you.
and when some of them started laughing (not because of me hiding i suppose 'cause i was way behind) probably due to the action of the others and the whole episode,
i just shouted out so loudly "very funny meh?!"
i swear this was like a thousand years since i shouted so loudly due to fear which led to anger.
i fastened my pace to find the man who was so in front.
so fast till it's something i wouldn't do unless i'm in a rush of time.
i was trying real hard to fight back those tears 'cause it would look so weird with people staring at you walking and crying at the same time when they didn't knew what went on earlier.
when i was finally beside him,
and the tears were only in my eyes, not as much for them to flow out,
we started chatting.
then we went by another group of pigeons with a smaller group size.
my first reaction was to grab him and pulled him to walk so far away from them when the distance was already so far.
and he said they wouldn't do anything to you unless you do something to them or get near them.
i raised my voice a little telling him "precisely someone did!" then my tears just started falling down.
"i knew 'cause i saw those birds when i went past them and not long after, you screamed and shouted" the man said and i could hear his tone changing completely with those heart pain tone.
the man asked me the next question sounding a little disappointed,
"where's the little courage i've built up in you to be less scared of birds a little?"
it made me cried even more when i replied him "sorry, i lost them. just...."
damn.
hate myself for being so scared of something that is everywhere on this earth.
hate myself for throwing all of dearest's effort away just like that where he took so long and so much energy on ending to see him getting hurt so much....
so this thing daunt me for the whole day till even when performance was about to start.
that scene of the huge group of birds flying at one go right in front of me just like that.
it keeps repeating in my mind.
i wanted to throw it away but it doesn't seem to go.
maybe that's why i didn't fear or feel nervous for dragon.

two items before ours,
i started to feel sleepy.
perhaps too long a waiting time and i didn't watch the two performances that was before our turn.
when our item started,
i went onto the stage not long after the team began setting up the starting pose since i am changing in only at a later time.
tried getting my eyes used to the atmosphere on stage with only UV light and the luminous effects of the dragon.
thought i was ok and i went in confidently to change my partner out just like during training.
but the story changed totally when it came to playing the stunts.
was feeling everything to be so bright from the luminous effect emitting out of the dragon.
i was at a blur.
and yeap.
when it came to playing plaits,
i counted the number of rounds as per normal but i guessed i counted too fast so i dragged my position out to go into my position when this stunt end.
this caused GuanJi to trip, fell and injured 'cause i think i pulled him towards the back to.
plaits.
a stunt i never failed before in all trainings/ performances i ever had for this routine of dragon.
yet it happened today.
and the mistake was so huge to cause the whole dragon to fall and stop.
with this very mistake,
regardless how well you put up your show at the second half till the end,
the dragon would not be fantastic at all.
"mistakes are good 'cause people learn from them",
definitely not during performance!
damn.
how much can the darkness of the stage and brightness affects me?
i doubt is that high.
it was my personal problem of counting wrongly which led to this huge mistake.
nothing else.
much as he assured me it wasn't my wrong.
but deep down,
i knew it's mine.
regretted for being normal when the situations were not at all normal.
perhaps i should really think whether i am suitable to be part of the dragon team.
with this rate i am going and with this kind of standard,
i would pretty much lengthen the amount of time needed to push the standard of dragon to a higher peak.
i am slow at learning and all.
not that agile plus playing the back positions are mad crazy.
SERIOUS THOUGHT FOR THIS IS NEEDED.
will get thinking on it once Wednesday paper ends.
if i really can't make it,
no point making the whole dragon suffer with me.

shall get back to studying for Wed's paper tomorrow and i hope the very scene of that flock of birds flying won't repeat themselves when i get to sleep.
yes.
it affects me THIS much.
i am glad i have him who i can just show all my feelings without thinking of any single thing at all and he would still be here for me regardless of anything.
to think back,
perhaps it was a good thing he walked fast and was in front of the group alot when walking back to CC 'cause this allowed me to just release those fear a little and that much of tears.
glad i was able to control those tears after crying for a minute or two.

Last One.

2011-08-24T23:21:00.001+08:00

two papers down today.

one last paper to go whereby the exam date is on next Wednesday.

exactly one more week.

i seriously wonder why SP can't arrange our exams/MSTs schedules much more properly and evenly space out.

or is it all school are the same?

hmmm...

anyways,

past two papers were Polymer Materials and Additives II and Product Design.

they weren't very difficult papers.

PMAII,

memorise,

vomit,

use some brains for calculations.

PRDGN,

even better,

memorise past year paper and you're done.

the setter didn't even bothered to change the numbers so as to make you do some calculations out of it.

MCQs were the same,

calculations were the same,

Section B was so predictable.

checked through blackboard yesterday for other past year papers on it for this module.

the trend is so obvious.

answers were given for MCQs and Section C (calculations) but not for Section B.

for both papers,

it were like that.

and the things that were out were too similar.

i mean,

normally answer are provided for Section B and C instead of Section A and C.

so,

something's very fishy over there.

and 'cause my last paper is one week away,

it makes me very reluctant to study.

after today's paper,

some of my classmates already declare holidays and started going out to play pool etc.

i self-declared mine not long after 'cause my feel for baking kicks in.

but i'm going to bake only this Saturday.

where the adults were busy voting,

i shall bake something.

chocolate chip cookies i suppose.

have got the crave for it.

wanted to make strawberry jelly hearts cheesecakes but...

the cost is really too high for me now 'cause i am busy saving money to buy contact lens and for my rebonding to be done in December.

it sucks to be not working.

my bank and pocket are so empty.

perhaps i should go for a job interview now and earn some money.

'cause i have got plans to go overseas in December.

even if i don't,

i would splurge like mad to go and book a hotel room in RWS and go to USS all over again to have a havoc time there.

i swear,

the last visit there with extended family members wasn't shiok enough and i wasn't very happy 'cause we were rushing for time like mad.

i'd prefer everything to be slow.

you're there to play and relax right?

so i shall bake those cheesecakes once my budget is back.

heh.

probably after CNY already. =X

whatever it is.

anybody wants to sponsor me any money?

i had be glad to receive any of them in any amount.

of 'cause the more generous the better.

hahahahaha!

should i go working at Gong Cha or any F&B again?

i really want money.

plus i still have the certification of the jab that i took when i was in Starbucks.

don't waste is better i suppose?

though i took it for free.

heh.

Shiok!

2011-08-21T01:01:00.001+08:00

it's been long enough since i last ran the whole full set of dragon.
just like how i was telling him how afraid i was with the new stunt 'cause i never ever landed my hands on playing it before.
and today,
GuanJi wasn't around and i had to try it out.
was a good try though it gave me 1 super big blueblacks and 2 small ones due to that man's fall!
that very metal that he was holding came poking and abused my right leg upon his fall.
and yeap,
other than those blueblacks,
i seriously suspect the strain on the inner thigh was gotten when playing that stunt to.
but despite all these,
me still failed to play the new stunt well and everything was converted to playing the old rundown.
felt so guilty for this.
everyone's perfected it but 'cause of me not running fast enough/ran wrongly/used wrong technique (i still don't know 'cause the man in front of me can't decipher it too), the new stunt was removed though we tried so many times for it.
i'm sorry guys.

to think now,
am actually glad that he is playing the position in front of me.
'cause he's good at absorbing the mistakes made from the front and allowed me to play my position much more easily,
he helps me analyses stuffs, errors and explain them to me whenever i am feeling so loss,
and when it reaches the end of the rundown whereby i am so shagged till the sit-up stunt was done so badly,
he would help me by pulling me more.
perhaps it was because of this,
i don't really detest playing the behind positions anymore.
i used to hate it 'cause it's so damn mad tiring.
or maybe 'cause my stamina improved and i am finding myself less tired playing the back position?
anyways,
it's good to have him in front of me 'cause when he fell due to me,
he explained why he fell when i am the cause.
and when i accidentally hit his head (i did that for i-don't-know-how-many-times already),
he would tsk me and let things past.
but of course,
we would deal with the reason.
ok enough of praising him so much here.

i wish i had more chances to play full set dragon.
wanted to use it as a way to train stamina in the beginning.
but now,
it's all about the flow of the stunts and how well you are playing your part.
perhaps i should start alternating full set dragon with my partner after all the upcoming performances are cleared and trainings are back to normal.
this will be taking like approximately 1 month!
i want to master those new stunts like seriously.
other dragon players,
sorry but i dragged you guys down.
i will work hard.

Run, Swim, Slim

2011-08-16T23:19:00.003+08:00

decided to go on a slimming plan 'cause i find myself too fat to be acceptable.
have been saying i want to slim down for months and years yet nothing was done.
pure words only.
that explains why i am so plump now.
heh.
slimming plan not equals to skipping diet, taking pills etc.

have been cutting down on carbohydrates alot.
till i finished dinner at around 6+pm and i am already hungry at around 10+pm.
would quickly bathe and head for bed unless i have got something to do.
this makes me eat lesser.
brushing teeth earlier helps too!
'cause i dread doing the whole process again.
hurhur.

have been running quite alot with dearest lately too.
he needs to train for his upcoming 2.4km for IPPT and since i need to slim down,
we went running together.
but of course not of such huge distance.
~~can't believe i still thought of running sun down marathon not long ago.~~
we're increasing the distance everytime we go running together.
is kinda good.
and to make things better,
i don't pant like a dog anymore after each run and i am running faster each time despite the increasing distance.
*proud*
hehe!

and i am hoping for the weather to be good tomorrow.
is time to get some exercise done in the swimming pool.
the last time i swam was in JUNE!!!!!!
afterall,
swimming to me is the best sport ever.
uses your whole body and not only your legs.
you can't get cramps from swimming too.
and of all,
you don't feel any sweat!
yeah!

yeap,
my mind is all set to cut down on my weight.
this September holiday's a good time.
and i got to cut away 10kg worth of fats to reach my first target.
very not motivating.
yes, i know.
anyone wants to join in this 'fun'?

and i am finally done with that very last report,
i am finally done with the test for MC&FA in the morning today = 1 module down.
yes,
i only have 3 more modules to take for exams.
got to start working real hard.
first paper on this coming Monday and is a module of memorising.
you don't memorise, you fail.
geez.
3 more weeks and i am so done for this semester! =)
and hopefully this semester is the second last one that i am having.
i don't want any repeat modules. =(

Love, Cherish

2011-08-16T22:26:00.000+08:00

“There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn’t expect you to understand that or even believe it, but trust me, there are some loves that don’t go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we all should be lucky enough to end up with somebody who has a little of that insanity, someone who never lets go, someone who cherishes you forever.”

- Ally McBea

付出？

2011-08-15T16:15:00.006+08:00

perhaps i shouldn't give in so much effort and accommodate that much anymore.
it doesn't pay to be good anyway.
really.
what past is past.
be it whether it ended up being a good or bad, positive or negative.
for the good ones,
ya,
perhaps you should hold them tight but you don't know when things gonna out thrown themselves and you would land yourself in some miserable state which you didn't thought of any before.
for the bad ones,
no point grabbing and hoping to revive any single thing out from history.
what done is done,
how much hurtful things you have been through,
i doubt time will really heal.
i never believed in that "time-will-heal" thing.
is a total bullshit coming out of nowhere 'cause it really doesn't help.
when you take a look at all those past events that hurt you before after eons,
you still feel the pain.
so what if it's lighter now?
you STILL feel the pain right?
be it relationships, kinships, work, exams, friendships etc etc.
you can't undo history.

and i mean,
how many people really cherish you and find you being important as part of their life?
how many of them are worth you giving in so much and putting in so much effort to them?
perhaps i should just stop thinking and believing that anyone in this world sees me important in one way or another.
'cause without me,
the world continues revolving.
and I would just end up making myself looking like a fool and nothing else!
won't be bothered to treat anyone good anymore.
no more of such things.
is time for me to stop holding on,
is time for me to just let go.
for people out there who you think you're really cherishing your loved ones, friends etc,
take some time out and really think about it.
'cause maybe your claim doesn't match how they feel at all.
bye.

A New Look.

2011-08-15T11:46:00.003+08:00

changed the blogskin and everything.
it's so easy using the new blogger's template now that i don't need to use my brain and think about which code is refering to which section in the old blog template that i used.
i don't need to trial and error the spaces, width, column too.
total happiness.
actually this blog was late in changing already.
'cause i started using this while creating the baking blog.
very easy to use.
instead of using hours for studying and changing the template to suit my needs,
it took me less than an hour to get this done now.
hahaha!
also decided to remove the tagbox or shoutbox.
so anything you want to say,
just place them under the comment section after the end of each post.
i will check back on them as and when.

oh and talking about baking,
the man stops me from baking further 'cause he said i haven't been saving up any money since i started baking again.
which is very true ~~'cause instead i drew more money out from my bank~~ .
so i got to put those cheesecakes on hold =(
i was still anxiously hoping for the weekends to come so i can make those cheesecakes and try out on the electric mixer.
nevermind.
i shall just put this as part of the plan for slimming down.
yes.
i am very reluctant.

alright,
that's all for now.
back to report.

Yes! My Piglet!

2011-08-14T22:19:00.004+08:00

taking a break off the last report that i am writing.
for the very first time i am handing in report late.
something got to be very wrong with me.
whatever it is,
got to get it done by tomorrow and submit it up on Tuesday.
don't want to drag any further.
glad i am almost done with studying for the quiz on coming Tuesday.
then after this quiz and submission on report,
is all set to studying for exams.
am starting out so late this time around.
grrr.
whatever it is,
the journey for this semester is ending really soon.
last chance to buck up and work hard for this last lap.
and i will be off to the very last semester of my Poly life.
i hope.
(hopefully there's no retaking of modules from this semester.it's a little worrying from what i have seen so far with my MST's results.)

this piglet.
a pig that was supposingly my gift for last year's anniversary.
but because the man says there's still time to wait a little more,
he did not buy for me when we first saw it.
then when the time really comes,
we went to all kinds of kids/toys stores just to find this piglet but to no avail.
then it dragged to become my birthday gift.
ended up,
we didn't manage to find it either.
so we continue searching till it past his birthday.
best of all,
after a total of 9 months waiting period,
i finally saw this at Lot 1's Kiddy Palace on National Day when i went searching for an electric mixer.
since i am there,
why ot give it a try to see if there's this piglet anot right.
saw this but the man did not bring any money out.
so i could only wait till Saturday with much worries (since there's only 3 left on the shelf!) when i go and buy the electric mixer (it was out of stock when we went on National Day to recce) with the man around and he ~~can help me carry the mixer home~~ buy me the piglet.
finally bought it.
if it were to continue dragging,
i guess there would be a high chance this gonna end up as an anniversary gift again.
anyways,
this piglet is mine!
oh yea! =)

Happiness?

2011-08-14T01:48:00.001+08:00

it's been long since i really felt happy with the things i am doing or things i am kept occupied with.

i remembered how happy i was to start doing a new report everytime when the practical required it.
yes,
i dreaded.
but i was happy at the same time.
researching everywhere to compile up your practical report.
afterall,
you learn something extra.
but as time gets longer,
i lost this kind of feeling.
other than dreading it,
i hated it too.
totally see no point in writing out a report anymore.
and the reason i continued writing was nothing other than for the sake of my grades.
everybody in SP science courses knows how high a weightage it holds for your overall module.
so much that it could determine your grades.
school.
sadly to say,
i am one who's very affected by the lecturer who's teaching me.
i score well for those teachers who are capable of teaching and i flunk modules pretty well for those lecturers who teach like shit.
bad enough,
i have got 2 this semester.
both of them teach modules holding 4 credits each.
damn.

trainings.
i would attend happily and always go home feeling either upset or frustrated.
probably 'cause of dragon.
i don't know.
i start to think whether is it me starting to deviate from how the mindsets were set or what.
i start to ponder on alot of stuffs.
i enjoyed still but not as much as before.
at times i feel like backing out.
perhaps it's just me.
or maybe my thoughts have changed and start to see alot of things differently as compared to the others.
i need to draw myself back to the place whereby our thoughts are the same.
or else...
i don't know what's going to happen next.

relationship.
perhaps we understood each other better.
lesser quarrels now.
bickering is a must as always or else life would be so bored.
but i start to yearn for those days where we first started.
where everything was so sweet and lovely.
somehow it doesn't.
i envy those who have each other for years,
i envy those who gotten married and grow till so old but yet,
still as sweet,
still as loving.
the man is good.
but the way things have changed and he said 'cause we progress everyday, everytime.
how i wished we progress but still keep some good ones with us and continue walking on with it.
i remembered reading a phrase which i can't really remember.
but the meaning is something like for people who really loves you, they accept you and accept how the relationship progress, not stucked and kept reminiscing and complaining how they missed the past.
this really hits me.
damn hard.

i wish things remain as simple as they first started out to be.
i wish to stay happy and take things much easily like how i used to be before.
but somehow that doesn't happen.
i need to putt myself up.
but really,
i doubt.

All Well and Done.

2011-08-10T22:32:00.001+08:00

yeap.
Stamford's big event came to an end last Sunday.
close to 3 months of preparations.
the show wasn't a perfect ones.
errors were here and there.
the worst error ever was that stupid spotlight which ruin the luminous dragon effect.
as part of the hosting team,
hearing members of the other team we invited giving out the first grudge of the spotlight spoiling the whole show dampened my mood a little.
was upset but what's done cannot be undone,
what needs to go on have to go on.
so the show continued.
for the first time we ran a show with only 22 members.
for almost the past three months,
we have been preparing,
be it dragon or drums.
training and training, complaining and complaining we were all dead tired.
but after the show or when the show just started,
the feeling of not wanting this to end came stronger and stronger.
all that we went through was worthwhile.
compliments from the audiences and friends came in and i know,
we've done a good job despite a few cork-ups.

next big thing coming up would be on the 28august.
the first time when we were told about this GMH,
we were told that we would be performing luminous dragon.
we were all so thrilled.
after so long,
finally we're out at the public,
showing our dragon.
no doubt our stunts weren't the most difficult,
our speed weren't the fastest.
bu i know we will get there someday, somehow.

will update more about this event when i got hold of the pictures.
or maybe not 'cause i had be too ~~lazy~~ busy to update the blog for this event with loads of pictures.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

school work is almost done.
one more test this coming friday,
another 25% quiz next week for MC&FA since it's an ICA module,
and lastly,
i need to complete that stupid report that's long overdued.
really has got no drive to do it.
it's been too long since i finished the second last one and now starting on this is like crazy.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

oh.
and one more thing.
i opened a new blog posting all those baking stuffs.
since i am like baking so often lately and i would post up those recipes and all,
decided to open up a new blog to post those recipes and stuffs.
'cause i don't want to flood this blog with those.
hahahha!
so check it up over HERE for those recipes and bakings if you want to.

HAHAHAHHA!

2011-08-08T20:10:00.003+08:00

'cause i remembered Rona asking me whether dearest can play those PSP games that she passed it over to him.
so i went asking the guy if the thing is still with him 'cause i didn't remember him mentioning anything about this.
then,
he went messaging Rona and the SMS the guy forwarded me went like this...

From: Rona
(..................) You ask Zhen remind me again (...........)
From: Me
you know what to do ba.

Being a ~~very thoughtful and good~~ secretary ~~with no pay~~,
i replied him this...

No.
i don't know what to do.
please remind me to remind Rona to bring it this Saturday.
tyvm. =P

hahahahahah!
~~I am so evil !!!!!!~~
ok this may be lame to some but oh wells.
i am very sure life will be a whole lot better and more fun if you were to laugh and be happy with such small stuffs than to be so bored about it.

Absence Makes The Heart Go Fonder?

2011-07-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

as the title said.
i don't know to agree to it anot.
all that i know i hate him to be not around with me.
hate him to be overseas, in camps etc.
i hate to be away from him and my family members too.
that kind of feeling sucks to the maximum.
their absence seriously don't make me feel like what the title said,
making-the-heart-fonders,
that is.
the absence just made me all so worried about them,
wondering what are they doing,
wondering if they are fine.
totally don't have that kind of feeling that my heart grown fonder towards them.
taking an example of him.
every single time he were to leave home for OBS camps, overseas trips due to his school,
i will have sleepless night from the start of his trip till he reached back to Singapore safe and sound.
this applies when i am away from him or my family members too.
i seriously wonder where those courage came from when i decided to go for OITP for 6 weeks.
i seriously wonder how i managed to pull through those days.
i swear,
webcam, phone calls, skype is nowhere as compared to be with them just around you and you see/feel them physically.
hate that kind of worried sick feeling.
perhaps i am all too dependent on them.
but missing them out anytime, anywhere especially you know that they are gone to somewhere leaving you at where you are,
that kind of mixed feelings,
i hate it.
so ya,
does "absence makes the heart go fonder"?
'cause i had be worried sick instead!

anyway,
on a brighter note,
the man is on the plane now coming back to SG from China.
oh yea!
Cheers.
reaching at around 2+am later on Thursday! =)

Clear Clear Clear.

2011-07-25T20:24:00.001+08:00

deleted some blog links off from my blog.
basically those who doesn't update anymore or had deleted their blogs off the net.
no point keeping these since they won't update or i can't view it right?
will do some housekeeping of my facebook too.
and those people whom i am don't really know or don't know at all shall get off the friend list.

training for the past weekend was a mad crazy.
dearest wasn't around.
me got to run the whole routine with phobia for two of those stunts that i don't know how to play.
finally cleared one at the beginning which i adopted what Rona used to conquer that stunt.
thanks for the tips! =)
and when it comes to the middle,
that stupid tornado which i have been failing and failing added so much stress and fear towards me.
no doubt i succeeded throughout and failed once out of about 5 times,
i knew very well that those four times were of pure luck.
totally not because i gotten the right skill.
this sucks.
sorry people that you guys got to suffer 'cause of me.
i find myself being so dumb.
never being able to master something fast and well.
anyways,
that five full rounds with the rest of those small parts for touching up/practising made my body muscle ached like mad.
my right butt got an ultimate cramp due to a fall on Saturday.
my whole stretch of right body doesn't felt like it's mine.
and the one that i am most scared of,
yes,
my back pain is back to haunt me.
i probably strained it too much after yesterday.
am having salonpas everywhere now.
and dearest have got the wish to stop me totally from playing dragon already.
but then,
staying in the troupe would be so aimless and boring with nothing,
exactly nothing to look forward to.
imagine if your whole life just stays with nothing but instruments, instruments and instruments,
drums, drums and drums.
i want to play a dragon.
i don't want to have any regrets.
erm.
i don't mind not playing lion though 'cause i really have got zero interest.
heh!

anyhow,
he's gonna be back in 3 days time,
reaching Singapore at a freaking 2+am.
and if my back were to heal by then,
our first date would be going for a swim.
if not we shall slack at his place before i head home after school.

i am seriously thinking of requesting a massage chair from him this december for our anniversary gift since he always ask me to massage my back when i can't reached and he isn't here to help me!!!!!!!!

Take a Rest.

2011-07-17T15:38:00.003+08:00

Everybody needs a little time away
I've heard her say
From each other

Even lovers need a holiday
Far away from each other
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

this song came up too vividly after that whole incident.
am too sick and tired of everything.
need somewhere to take a deep deep breath.
i need a break,
i need a rest from everything.
let it go, let it go.
perhaps a short separation would be good.
good for both to think things through...

Dearest's Birthday 2011

2011-07-13T20:45:00.004+08:00

'cause his birthday was near,

he's a guy who doesn't like any type of cakes except for brownies due to its texture being moist and fudgy as compared to the others,

i baked him brownies every year.

for the past years it were all done from Betty Crocker's premix.

but i thought this year i want to play with those alcohols in my cupboard coupled with Betty Crocker is really too sweet and bad for health,

i decided to bake from scratch this year.

because brownies have many holes on the surface due to the testing of how well baked the brownies were during the process,

thus,

decorations on the top of the brownies were necessary.

finally settled on to go measure the cupcake cups diameter and use Microsoft words to put in the words and all for cutting after much procrastination till 3 days before his birthday.

didn't fully use the word 'birthday' instead 'cause i changed the plan.

wanted to make brownies cupcakes originally and i have been searching where to buy cake boxes but didn't seem to have any.

adding on,

the containers in my house weren't enough to contain that much of cupcakes and so,

have got no choice but to change my plan off to baking 2 heart-shaped cakes and cupcakes only for other alcohol flavours.

and sadly,

the heat-shaped cake isn't big enough to allow the whole 'birthday' word to be "painted" on it.

10th July: One Day Before His Birthday

woke up super early on a Sunday morning at 830am.

it's been a long time since i did this.

prepared the ingredients as seen in the first two photos.

didn't use the flour 'cause when i felt it,

it was clearly not enough amount called by the recipe.

rushed down to the market to buy a new pack.

haix.

and that packet didn't give me a better end product as the previous batch i made for troupe's people making from the flour as shown above.

wonder why the solo picture of 'president' butter from france?

'cause i love this.

i once baked chocolate cookies and i tried other brands of butter.

my chocolate cookies ended up tasting like some mad butter cookies and they all felt so oily too!

but this brand,

it gave a light buttery flavour that doesn't cover the taste of the brownies and it didn't felt that oily.

thus i love this! =)

last photo was when all the preparations were done and i'm all ready to start the mixing process.

easily first step, place the diced butter into ~~a medium bowl~~ pot.

(is better if you can dice them smaller 'cause it reduces the time you need to melt it. i ~~am too impatient~~ hate to cut them small 'cause i hate the disgusting feeling of cutting butter when it slowly began to melt.)

double boil and melt it,

then mixed in the chocolate chips.

recipe asked to put these two in together for melting but from all the reviews i have read for melting chocolates for any baking,

many don't agree to this 'cause chocolate melts very fast and they will taste char if you were to keep it on heat for too long when melting.

last picture, clearly is the chocolate mixture.

then was adding in the brown sugar.

and followed by the 4 eggs.

is my habit to make them go into one container first then pouring them into the mixture.

you don't want a spoilt egg to spoil the whole mixture!

and i add those eggs in one by one for more even mixing.

once again, learnt this from the reviews on baking recipes.

and the whole bowl became so sticky after the adding of eggs.

here come the cocoa powder, salt, baking powder and flour.

the mixture became so thick that the whisk i brought from Daiso went out of shape 'cause it can't handle the force i am exerting to mix the mixture well.

the heart-shaped mould.

'cause i have a small oven,

i got to use smaller moulds so that it can fit into my oven. =(

flavour: choco-peppermint baileys brownies.

(i have got a rush to buy another oven with two tiers though it's small size since all my moulds can fit in. then i can buy more moulds, bake all at the same time = saving time. should i? it cost around $108.)

i use baking paper/parchment paper 'cause i hate greasing them and washing the super oily thing after baking.

it also stains my tins with those smell too!

yucks!

decided to try making other alcohol flavoured brownies other than adding just baileys.

'cause i scared it would fail,

so i made them into cupcakes instead.

first mixture was mixing the caramel baileys with the mix.

('cause i made this flavour for troupe people and he tried it, decided to make a different flavour for his main cake which i didn't even try. this caramel was made again on its own since he didn't get to pack some home on saturday.)

flavours: 1 vodka citrus, 1 vodka peach, 1 caramel baileys, 1 ultimate.

these were the non-flavoured original chocolate brownies for his nephew.

he doesn't allow his 2+ year old nephew to eat the alcohol ones 'cause he didn't want him to taste alcohol.

haix.

people, for your information,

upon cooking/baking,

the alcohol percentage is way gone and what's left is only the taste/

from a wed i read: 'cause alcoholic drinks are mostly made from ethanol'.

and from what i studied,

(being in a polymer option course,you need to memorise all these ~~shit~~ chemicals/acids/plastics boiling points, melting points etc! )

ethanol boiling point is about 80 deg c.

thus,

baking at 180deg c,

you definitely won't have anymore alcohol percentages inside unless your oven temperature has got problem!

made two to allow these two words to be "printed" on.

now you know why i can't squeeze the whole word of "birthday" inside.

if i would have changed my plan earlier,

i would use microsoft words and use a smaller font size.

after seeing this picture and the top picture,

i think is pretty clear why i really need to cut out papers and use icing sugar to carve out those words.

doesn't it made the brownies with ugly surfaces a whole lot prettier?

though i agree the icing sugar isn't that wide sprinkled.

first picture: the completed products with all the mix fully used.

spent about 3 hours with the same amount of brownie mix for the batch i made for troupe yet i spent 5 hours plus for this batch 'cause things were more complicated.

wanted him to try different flavours alcohol brownies so i had the main one and cupcakes with different flavours which i have to individually mix.

i need to separate out the normal non-alcoholic brownies for his newphew too.

unlike the batch i made for troupe,

1 alcohol,

just place it in the brownie mixture and mix them all up.

icing sugar was also sprinkled just to cover the surfaces unlike the ones i baked for his birthday,

every design was with a code and i got to ensure the pictures were being printed out nicely.

11th July: His actual birthday.

since i brought my camera along,

i finally remembered to take these two pictures to show you guys.

all that i can say he really didn't change much since he was young, small and cute.

~~unlike now. totally not handsome, old, not cute and evil! =X~~

went to his place and waited for him to come back home after my lesson.

played with his nephew.

he laugh like mad everytime but when the camera is infront of him,

there goes the smiles and laughters.

totally like TTT.

i don't know wy.

and yeap,

2nd picture.

i guess it's hard to get kids to stay still for phototaking etc!

gave him the brownies and the first one i asked him to try wasn't the main one that is for sure edible.

i got him to try the ultimate one.

the brownie mix with all the 4 alcohols mixed in.

i thought it would end up tasting all weird and sucky when i was making this.

when he ate that and i saw the expression of the last picture,

i though i succeeded in bullying him with this super weird food.

but...

nope.

he said he can't figure out what's there in it.

then when i asked does it taste weird,

he said he taste normal.

so being curious,

i tried.

totally mission failed for me.

taste just like a normal chocolate brownie with some alcohol taste in it.

but it didn't give those weird and make you want to puke out taste.

me was totally sad.

perhaps i should try adding chilli padi or things like that next year!

hoho!

so conclusion,

he enjoyed eating it.

in case you guys don't know how identical they look like,

here it is.

TTT one the left and his nephew on the right.

the percentage i can say is 85% la!

everytime his nephew see this picture of him,

he would say his own name repeatedly and we got to tell him that's his uncle instead.

but awhile later,

history repeats.

oh yea.

finally finished updating.

such a long post!

it's been long since i wrote this kind of length.

to those who finished reading,

i hope i didn't waste your time! =)

Cosmo Parade 2011

2011-07-04T11:58:00.002+08:00

yeap.
attended the event.
felt like we're zoned out totally from the whole thing though.
didn't seemed to have fit in at any single part of the event.
kind of disappointing for the amount of people who really participated as cosplay-ers.
there're really too little for me to think of actually.
whatever it is,
key point,
we enjoyed ourselves and that's good enough.

so during the parade,
played the tail unless really necessary to take the head.
'cause i swear,
being a tail is so much more fun.
not as tiring if you really dare to play.
i remembered Louis once told me,
you just got to shake your back,
kneel up and down,
squat to make yourself more comfortable and you won't get tired so fast.
so i compared and contrast yesterday.
one just go in and bend your back and the other time doing what he taught me years ago while i learnt the tail.
and yes,
i am glad he pass me this trick 'cause it really works!
this,
does increase my interest in lion a little but!
as a tail.
i am still rejecting lion head alot till the extent that i loathe it.
yes.
just don't know why.
i had rather die/injured for dragon than anything got to do with lion.
hehs.

just when my interest got a tiny winy little higher of like a 0.5% as compared to the earlier of 0%,
the news at the dinner table made my interest dropped all the way again.
can i not participate in the event that was being brought up at the table during dinner that night?
if it was my interest,
i don't mind.
but....
heh...
even if there was interest for lion,
it's so minimum till i don't feel really comfortable to participate in this 'cause i know there's a high chance of me not giving in my best shot.
and if i insist on tail,
then one pair that has been training got to break it up unless the 4th party is willing to be a head.
so instead of making everyone so upset,
why not i just back out 'cause i know there will be one more person who will make a better pair to team up this group of four.
the original paired up team wouldn't have to break,
the other team got paired up more naturally,
i just sit there watch show.

if this whole thing is about dragon,
then the story will be changed entirely.
sad,
it isn't.

anyway,
photo of that day:

Speech of yesterday:
Me: yes! tomorrow starts school at 2pm! at least it made my Youth day a little better. =)
Him: I was supposed to have no school! Bleahx!
Me: But too bad, you've got a comp to attend and guess what, you're working longer than i do. =P BLEAHX BLEAHX!

'Cause This Is Life.

2011-06-29T01:12:00.000+08:00

living on this earth,
so long one is still alive,
he/she definitely gain or lose something throughout his/her time spent here.
of course,
theorectically,
the longer one lived,
the more things one gain or lose.

but,
think back.
of the things that you gained/gaining,
are you happy receiving them?
or some part of yours felt a little remorse or guilt for gaining it?
of the things you've lost,
are you truly happy for letting these things go?
or that particular part of you felt that sadness and regret?
so afterall,
if some of those were of the negative feelings,
it is worth giving up so much just to gain or lose something when you know you won't be happy?
if some of those were of positive feelings,
congratulations,
you made the right choice.

this have been running through my mind these few years.
are we truly happy for what we have and feeling comfort for all that we have lost.
were we doing all those in spite of anger/ jealousy/ revenge just to hurt the other party and ultimately,
we found ourselves being the one who lost the most.
on the other hand,
the other party might have benefited and learnt a lesson out of it.

i don't know.
but this is somehow the way things worked out.
actions always come first before thoughts.
ending up,
you're the one who suffers the most in the end especially when the problem you have steered up can't be salvaged.
then you eventually lost something.
never will a case be of a win-win situation.
this thing never ever existed in my dictionary.
'cause to me,
when you gained something,
you're definitely bound to lose some others.

WHEN FATNESS SETS IN

2011-06-26T22:39:00.003+08:00

2kg more to hit my first target ever since 2 weeks ago.
this means that i haven't lost any weight 'cause i didn't exercise much.

I WANT & NEED TO RUN/EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Confidante

2011-06-26T02:33:00.000+08:00

have been blogging alot lately but haven't been doing the postings.
i don't know why but to me now,
having a blog doesn't mean that you have to publicise every single post you wrote or putting the blog to private when you find some posts are not suitable to release to the public to view.
i basically just wrote those blog posts and placed it under drafts instead.
prevent me the hassle of worrying people got misunderstood/ affected by what i wrote and thus i need to private it and then releasing out for people to read again.
some things written were much more confidential whereby i didn't feel comfortable to even have to think through and it would automatically end up in drafts.
so ya.
people who ought to know how i feel,
knows it.
writting a blog means more of keeping a track of whatever milestones/ troubles i am in at that time phase of my life.
more of a diary just that i am typing it down instead of penning.
yes,
when sometimes i don't feel like repeating all i have blogged to her,
she would just login here to read.
kind of a good thing to do.
i don't have to remember all the negative things again while trying to remember.
love her.
one can have tons of friends but how many of them are those you can confide to without havng to worry a single thing?
no matter how large your circle of friends are,
none will beat that 1 or 2 confidantes of yours.
just that few is enough.

i once planned that my wedding should be of those that are with lots of people and friends who i have met throughout my entire life.
but as days past and after so many things,
i realised my thoughts towards the wedding plan i have ahead changed.
minus of all the tables of relatives/colleagues my parents want to invite,
i would probably want another 5-6 tables for my own.
just invite those closer friends of mine nd colleagues of the work force in time to come.
'cause i see no point inviting so many people over.
wedding= an event full of love.
i would just like to devote and share all these love with those close friends of mine at different stages of my life.
i only need these few to be around me when i proceed on with the next biggest step in my life like how they always do in the past.
that's all that i am hoping for now.
simple yet touching wedding.
it's probably all said too early again o'well.

MST's on monday.
not fully prepared.
i am so gonna die.
all the best to those taking this stupid MST that's after school holidays.

i will be back soon with postings publlished so that i have got more things that i am more comfortable in sharing with.

Impromptu.

2011-06-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

leaving Singapore again this coming Sunday and will be heading back on Tuesday.
will be going to Batam.
super impromptu i would say.
we walked past the travel agency in Foodcourt 5 of SP.
then saw some flyers that were pasted on the glass panels and so,
we stopped and took a look at it.
was hoping to see one on Boracay Islands, Phillipines.
but sadly,
didn't see any.
but one super cheap deal caught our eyes.
need one relax trip where we could just rot our time away,
do anything when we feel like it,
everything last minute in that place and is totally out of the city.
so,
it was set at Batam.
nearer to Singapore than Bintan and the deal is good too.
so why not?

but before we could even depart on Sunday,
something happened and dampened our mood today already.
the agency called and said the ferry timing we wanted is fully booked.
but according to what they said when we booked the deal,
everything was available.
they said it was the admin problem with the Batam side.
not surprised if this was the case.
'cause i have read internet reviews and this problem surfaced in so many of the reviews.
so now i was telling the rest,
we had better be asking them whether our room is confirmed.
or not we would end up laying around "homelessly".

before this trip was confirmed by the agency that there were spaces for us to go,
i felt rather shocked and surprised.
i mean,
is only a 4 days difference plus now is super peak period with school holidays everywhere and being able to still book resorts and all seem too impressive to believe.

hope that this is the one and only hiccups we will have for this trip.
my heart ain't that good to suffer another shock and disappointment.
afterall,
i am still looking forward to it.
perhaps i shall try studying with the sea breeze and sound of the waves?
haha let's see.
i might just end up sun tanning and reading my storybook instead.
HAHA!

till then,
byes.

Back!

2011-06-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

finally the long anticipated Bintan trip arrived.
got sunburnt.
pretty much prepared for that.
the burn was much better as the one i got last year when i went there.
perhaps a different part of Bintan would cause a different level of burn.
this time round, hours in the sun yet the burn was less hurtful than the one i suffered just within 2 hours under the sun.

overall i would say,
enjoyable and fun.
though it was a little disappointing when the rain sets in on the later half of the second day and the whole of last day.

first day,
our group thought coach conned us again when he said we only have 1 villa instead of two until we reached there and see it for ourselves.
can't blame us,
he always joke around.
haha!
pool games was hectic, mad crazy and totally funny maximum.
totally no laws=play anyhow you like.
it's tiring to go round the pool to get the ball and throw them into the net/goals.
like i said earlier,
since there were no rules,
people from both groups went hugging the ball and see who's force the biggest to win the ball back,
people pants got pulled down,
people got locked onto the ground,
people grabbing opponent's hands to prevent them from getting the ball.
then was dinner at Pasar Oleh Oleh.
the only place i bought back a magnet and a bracelet.
food was very nice there.
love!
way better than Bali's.
probably 'cause there was too much repetitive food in Bali.
at night was the usual.
mahjong games, cheat, dai di.
too much funny things happened here.
shan't reveal it.
those who know, know it.

second day.
the day we all got so tanned and black.
half the day at the beach with the scorching sun.
sandcastle building, thousand steps, water bags passing, ball passing using body parts.
i love the sun and the sea.
way too much fun and i am with 3 of my loves of nature.
i am with such a nice tanned colour now but sadly,
the tanned lines were ugly.
then was back to villa for lunch and it rained.
waited awhile for the rain to stop and then it was a mangrove tour.
many of us felt disappointed though.
too little things to see.
nevermind.
i believe there will be a next time.
then back to the leisure centre and played some games.
carrom, table tennis and laser quest.
was surprised i got over 100 for my score though.
haha!
that TTT was mad.
500+.
played too much of such games on my itouch + always observe how people "kill" in arcade.
violent man.
but after he explained how he played,
is totally understood how come he could score so high.
and he's so bad to me when we played table tennis.
totally use me as his training.
i wasn't well traned in table tennis, a total noob yet, he used me for training his smashes. =(
evil man.
then after laser quest was dinner at the main lobby.
food was expensive.
and that evil man ordered something so atas which cost $2 + 20% more than what we ordered.
tried out some of those food he had.
hehe. =X
back to villa was murderer and all.
indian poker and tagobachi was crazy.
i will never forget the amount of pringles we managed to clear in those games.
some ate so much till the smell either lingered in their mouth or burp out the smell with it despite overnight.
didn't felt like eating anything the next day for breakfast.
so full.
totally wonderful bonding session with the troupe people of old birds and new birds.
had a hard time laughing.

third day breakfast so filling and marvellous.
prata with hotdogs, nutella, sardine.
hahahaha!
then was a game of archery.
hate it.
played till i even teared 'cause i was so despaired and wanted to give up already.
find myself so lousy.
thanks love for the support and cheering me on.
even shooting the grass score a higher point than the bulleye.
thus he made me the winner of all.
so lame but it made me felt so sweet and comforted.
then back to villa and the rest went for laser quest.
lazy to sweat was one reason why i gave up playing and the other reason was i believe there are more people who will enjoy it more than me.
i kind regret a little now actually.
so went back to villa, packed bag and ate lots of tidbits and instant noodles for lunch.
wanted to drive buggy with love being my coach since he said he feel like driving the buggy around.
so i went packing my bag and when i am out and ready for the "training",
coach drove it there to the leisure park to help those who played laser quest to pay their money first.
haha!
nevermind.
still got chance to play with the buggy next time.
hmmm... why not a real car? hahaha!
checked out,
slacked at leisure center again with carroms and pool.
then off we went.
back to Singapore.
went airport for popeye with maxi deal.
totally full like mad.
didn't finish my drink and passed it to dearest.
home seet home after that.

am glad i switched off my phone once i reached the terminal.
'cause school work smses came in for all 3 days while i am away.
before i can extend my rest till monday,
i got reminded of the EIC editing i need to do and submitted up the next day.
good times don't last. =(

no internet, no nothing.
i like.
this is the best.

didn't manage to buy any carbonated tea and also no trying out of spaghetti stick with hotdogs for this trip. =(
but i brought back lots of memories and fun! =)
can't list all things out 'cause so many happened.

PS: sorry for such a dry long post. didn't manage to upload my photos since my camera is with sony now for repair plus i have got no card reader to read sony's memory card.

True or Not True?

2011-05-23T13:03:00.001+08:00

1. Guys don't go after good-looking girls, because looks...aren't everything to them.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. If a guy says he doesn't understand you, it means you're not thinking the way he is.
4. A guy can be flirting around all day but before he goes to sleep, he'll always think about the girl he truly cares about.
5. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics because to him, you're perfect.
6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
7. Guys will do anything to get your attention.
8. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
9. When you say "no", guys hear it as "try again tomorrow."
10. Sometimes you have to tell a guy what you really want before he truly understands.
11. A guy would sacrifice his lunch money just to get you a couple of roses.
12. A guy often thinks about and talks about the girl who likes him, but this doesn't mean he likes her back.
13. You won't ever completely understand him.
14. If a guy ever tells you he loves you more than once a day...he does.
15. Girls are indeed guys' weaknesses.
16. Guys are very open about themselves, they will tell you anything you want to know.
17. It's good to test a guy before you believe him, but don't ever make him wait too long.
18. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
19. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that pretty.
20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

Regrets.

2011-05-23T12:54:00.002+08:00

if i knew right at the start that i would not be able to play the full set of dragon,

i would have fight for my rights to play back my No.4 on the very first training when i came back from Shanghai.
i seriously regretted.
even if i was rejected then when i asked for my No. 4,
at least now i could tell myself that at the minimum,
i tried acheiving for it before.

Exciting Saturday.

2011-05-22T01:53:00.002+08:00

was supposed to go swimming in the morning with dearest but sadly,
sky wasn't giving its support towards us.
super dark sky and we both concluded that it was too risky to go for the swim.
so he asked me why not just go watch the movie.
'cause 2 days before we were deciding on whether to go watch Pirates of the Carribean or go for a swim.
ended up i was yearning too much to swim so went for this decision.
who knows the sky went against us.
much as i was thinking that the theatre could have already been fully packed,
(it was 1030 that we decided to change plan and head for the movie at 1215 at cineleisure.)
i went online to check and i realised the 1215 slot for 3D had got only a handful of people who bought the tickets.
so went booking tickets online.
stepped out of my house and the rain started pouring.
everywhere was in such massive jam.
seeing that the time was already 1205,
i just got off the bus at Takashimaya and walked over to Cineleisure.
super ultra jam down there for i-don't-know what reason!
and for the first time,
i walked faster than a bus!
redeemed the tickets and we went into the theatre just 1 minute before the show started.
thank god for the invention of online booking and we are able to make it on time.
luckily he reached orchard earlier than me and informed me how jam it was at Orchard.

Pirates of the Carribean - On Stranger Tides.
watched 3D.
go catch it if you can!
is worth the watch.
some added elements to spice up the show a little with what was originally in built.
for example,
Jack Sparrow's classic lines, some of his sneaky moves and bubbly jokes that i would say,
kind of expected and even in disguise,
you would recognise it's him.
and you see the good pals turned a little bad towards each other in this episode.
would give a rating of 8/10 for this.
not as thrilling as the previous ones but some scenes were quite disgusting if you're of those faint hearted guy.
and birds once again came into the movie scenes. -.-
damn it.
ok.
gonna stop revealing so as to not turn you guys off from watching.
go catch it!
it's great and worthwhile ~~(it was a 2+ hour movie after all!! =X)~~ !!!!
then went BK for lunch.
was hungry maximum.
the first food i ate.
and while walking to Scape to board bus back home,
right outside Cineleisure was Coca-Cola staffs giving out free coke.
so being a typical Singapore,
~~dearest never lugi himself~~ he went to get 1 bottle of it and asked me to get another.
i told him i don't want any and he said help him to take.
so i got hold of the bottle that was already in his hand,
and there he went,
getting another bottle of it "on my behalf".
and then continued walking to Scape.
told him Magnum was giving out free ice-cream too in promotion with the double caramel flavour.
so we ended up going over to Madarin Gallery and took a look upon his request when we were already half way to Scape.
the queue was madly long.
am glad we had a meeting for Bintan trip 5pm at CC.
or not,
i think he would queue for it.

training started off with the meeting on Bintan trip.
made me so excited that i can't help hoping time to skip till 3rd June.
hehs.
it took away all my mood for doing my assignments when i have got so many due in the coming two weeks.
just gonna endure and i am sure i will survive through.
after this term,
the second half of the semester going to be more of a breeze despite the upcoming MST and exams.
glad to finish majority of the assignments in the first term.
more time to focus on FYP and other stuffs.
we gonna all let our hair down in Bintan and enjoy ourselves before coming back to give the fullest blast for the next semester.
had drum training for the longest time since donkey years.
2 full hours of non-stop drumming.
but it was a fully used quality time.
then was dragon training.
am glad was able to run full dragon today.
it's been long.
he asked me if i want to join his family for the farewell dinner for his brother next saturday night and i rejected him straight.
giving him the very reason that dragon already has got not enough people to play according to what i know of the attendance next week.
i know the training will still carry on even if i am not there.
there can be replacements and newbies to dragon can be trained up.
but i'm sorry to say that i am selfish.
i want to play the whole full set whenever the chance given.
this coming sat is probably the last chance that i am going to have for being able to play the dragon for the training throughout due to the lack of people.
i don't want to let that chance slip 'cause i don't know when will be the next time whereby i will be able to play the whole dragon set again.
yes i am selfish.
i know.
but to me,
i want to achieve my aim.
what a beautiful saturday it was where i just relax and don't bother about any school work.
just enjoy, play and all.
it's going to be a long time before i get to have another one. =(
nevermind.
be contented.
at least i had one when i am at such saturated peak period now.

Need A Break.

2011-05-16T19:47:00.000+08:00

school.
is driving me insane.
2 reports,
1 down, 1 half done.
another one coming its way not too far from now.
datasheets,
presentations,
FYP.
year 3.
despite the shorter school duration,
life didn't get more relax.
filled with loads of stuffs still.
hate it so much now.
i don't understand why do we need to work so hard, do so much.
i don't enjoy school anymore.
i hate it so much to the extent i felt like quitting school.
but thinking about the disappointments my parents will get,
i decided to just get at least the minimum - a diploma.
i don't enjoy school now really.
plus school is so boring nowadays.
and finally,
OITP stuffs are finally over.
finally done with every single damn thing.
got so pissed off doing those write-ups and powerpoint.
but am glad i didn't get shot back at it afterall.
did it once and did it good enough for rejection.
the lecturer just touched up a little and asked me to view if it's ok.
glad it's fine and i didn't have to draft up everything again.
glad i did everything beforehand and didn't delete them away when i found out that it's suppose to be two people doing one.
it's over!
yes!
like finally!
i want to go back to Shanghai and Beijing again to finish all the areas i haven't covered before.
i mean those sceneries and places of interests for tourists.
i want to bring my family and him along.
it's going to be more enjoyable with no need to work, go there and relax, shop, eat and at a weather not so cold!!!!

training went back to normal after all the GE and stuffs.
got a new position for drums due to a change in formation and everything.
got allocated at a new position for dragon.
i don't know why i got changed to one position i never played before still.
and hmm.
was kind of disappointed when i was placed as one who doesn't get to run the whole game but a substitute.
dearest asked me to think it in a more positive way whereby i have the chance to play at a more relaxed mode and have a chance to give less tension to my back.
but that disappointment can't be helped.
i don't understand why.
i want to run the full thing.
i know i can.
and the life of female able to play in the dragon body is short and can be easily replaced in the troupe.
furthermore,
now there are so many more guys coming up to take over.
to be honest,
chances for girls to continue playing is so slim.
i remembered the reason why me and Rona got in to train with them for the '07 luminous competition was 'cause there wasn't enough guys to form one whole team.
with the guys coming up now,
i guess it's just one or two years and i will probably be the first to be kicked out of that dragon team.
then,
i will be back to the instrument team and be stucked there for the rest of my life.
i guess,
i have got no choice but to accept this fact.

Point Proven.

2011-05-15T00:54:00.003+08:00

i rmembered publishing a post not long ago whereby i said one don't have to be a saint.
you don't have to be too kind and helpful and all 'cause no one ever appreciates that.
once again,
point proven.
though indirectly.

for all that had happened,
i blame no one but myself for being too kind and too helpful towards one out there all over again.
Didn't i already said before i won't go around giving concern out to people or to help them?
but then again,
i too mentioned i will go all way out for those whom i hold dearly.

the getting wronged and scolded just now really pissed me off to an extent i want to throw off that position and just go home.
i played his position before so when he ended up being so blur as to what to do and asked me to play his place to demo,
i went ahead with it without any single bit of any second thought.
but before moving on to doing a demo,
i got scolded for not staying put at my very own position.
pretty turned off.
i don't undertsnad why one can't help others who are in need despite you are playing a different position.
especially whereby this one's position you had played before and can clear this one's doubt just by helping it in a very simple way.
can't be bothered to life up my spirit for the rest of the things to go through so i stood aside,
not at all being enthusiatic about any single thing after that.
i just want everything to end fast so that everyone calls it a day,
you go home,
i go home,
everyone goes.
acted to laugh, acted to be happy.
deep down,
i know i am wearing such a lousy mask.
i don't mind getting injured,
i don't mind getting scolded if i were to do wrong.
i hate being wronged by others.

reached back home,
did the necessities.
messaged him and i told him regardless of whatever matter in the future to come,
so long we are there,
i won't help you in whatever good or bad you encounter.
get others to help you,
get others to do whatever explanations etc.
i hate to be selfish but i have to in that environment.
please reject my help if i offer you when we're there.
other than that,
when we're on our own,
you can count on me even for the slightest brainless thing.
i won't blame you for asking me to help do a demo just now.
i just blame myself for being too helpful, too kind and not stand right straight at my own ground,
playing only my own part.
it doesn't pay to be good so instead of getting wronged, scolded making myself feel so upset,
i would just leave you alone in the future to come.

seriously,
deep down,
how i wish i could be there helping him on whatever big or small matters.
but really under this kind of environment,
i gave up holding on.
he knows i have been through this loads of times.

i hate and blame myself for forever being so concern towards whom i cherished,
i hate and blame myself for being too helpful,
i hate and blame myself for being too kind,
i hate and blame myself for all the good that i have.
i am starting to turn back to my old self where i lock others out of my world despite knowing the fact that people will think you are cold blooded,
you don't smile etc.
i once again start to believe,
only when you have you, yourself and no one else,
you are the safest.
those self-protection walls are up again.
i am not happy.
i am not.
i am really not.

it really doesn't pay to be good and kind to people who don't knw you well and even some who knows you well.

at least,
at the end of the day,
i know who really appreciates me.

i'm sorry dear but i really have got no choice but to do this.
i thank you for your understanding though i really don't understand why things have to be this unfair.

random.

2011-05-01T16:07:00.000+08:00

lost the groove of updating my blog.
life's been mundane.
nothing of the hype happened.
and i guess i would be updating less and less often in time to come due to those reports and FYP.
two reports on hand now.

anyway,
on a random thought,
it kept me troubled on how people managed to give in their best, give in all their effort without complaining back then.
why is it that the world turned into such selfish society.
nothing seems to please.
everybody just keeps complaining about this and that.
where's the kind of people who knows how to appreciate the stuffs they have on hand?
what do you guys hold dear to you?
i wonder.
i miss those times whereby everything is just so simple, everybody never fights with each other to get to their aim, no one will look down on whoever who's weaker than them but instead, help them.
where are those simple times?
does people really get to so much of revenge and all, never satisfied with what they have, hold grudges with the smallest things as they grow older in time to come?
tired of the society.
so much so that i can't be bothered with those who continues being so emotional with so many things.
and sometimes,
people don't appreciate any stuffs anyway.
so ya.
i have stopped asking almost anyone if they are ok etc for about 2 years already even if they are close friends.
is not that i won't be there to listen.
i will only if you want to start the topic yourself towards me.
(to me, close friends will want to confide to you anything they feel as and when they like it. probing them is another phase or just an extended action of concern. paying attention and lend them your listening ears are what's more important in my thinking.)
only then,
it will be that whereby you share stuffs you are comfortable with to anybody and no one will come saying that person who asked and felt concerned for you will be called a busybody.

C'est La Vie.

2011-04-24T22:40:00.003+08:00

'cause life is just so unpredictable.
even so much you prayed for,
so many things would just happen unexpectedly.
at times,
giving up somehow is the best thing.
be it under which situations one is being placed in.

I'm Back! =)

2011-04-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

after 6 weeks in Shanghai,
i am finally back!
the feeling of being back home is so shiok!
the oly bad thing,
it's so hot and humid over here.
guess i am stucked there for too long and got too used to the cooling weather there.
at times it's chilly cold but it's way better than it being hot right?
anyways,
contented that i am back here safe and sound.

went for performance in the morning today.
felt so happy to be in the uniform again.
it's been too long since i last wore it.
but the thing to be sad of,
when i tied my hair up,
i saw an ultra big face smack right into the mirror.
damn.
it's going to be some slimming plan coming up i swear!
looked so plump now!
after that rotted the whole day at dearest's house.
i practically slept like nobody business.
so damn tired.

school's starting tomorrow.
the good thing is,
we will be starting lesson at 2pm instead of early in the morning at 9 'cause lab briefing gonna be combined with the lecture lesson at 2!
hoping for a good start for a new school year,
a new semester,
a new term,
a new week!
all the best people! =)

hello guys!

2011-03-30T10:14:00.000+08:00

hey people!
how have things been over there?
it's getting kinda boring over here.
project 1 gonna be over real soon 'cause we were all at our wits end on what to test on for the compounds.
finding whatsoever left that we haven't done and we got to:
1) pray hard there's available machine over here 'cause not all machines they have it since the compnay are those of the testing and adding additives type
2) the two extremes of the compounds gonna make some differences in the values or not, it's not worth doing at all if it doesn't account to set any trends.
so all in all,
one last testing on viscosity to go on the extremes and if these two fail to have values with a big difference,
we are so done for the project! =)
but the next few weeks are going to be so boring.
research, compiling data, powerpoint slides and getting ready for the presentation.
we got 2 full weeks to do this.
haix.

and travelling around here is getting boring.
yeap there are some places we haven't been to yet.
such as world expo, those stadiums and all sorts of musuems.
but it kinda seem a wastage of time.
peraps it wouldn't be if i were with my family members or dearest 'cause common interest and there are lots of stories to hear from them.
yeap.
you're right.
i rather listen to stories than to tell them.
i am dying to go Beijing.
everything seems more fun over there.
so much more places to visit such as Olympics Park (where all the Olympics buildings are), Great Wall of China, Forbidden City and all the three gates especially the most famous one which i reckoned, Tian An Men.
but the travelling hours dreads me.
it's a 13+hours to travel there and another 13+hours travelling back.
and over there,
would be like a rushing mad dog trying to cover all these areas in 2 days.
can't stay for 3 days 'cause we would be late for half a day for work the next day when we are back.
one of the rule in ITP/OITP: unless it's a school approval leave from the company/MC, 1 day leave = 3days and you got to meet 90% of the attendance.
nobody on earth wants to risk that 90% 'cause if you fail,
you got to repeat the whole ITP and without passing ITP, it comes no FYP.
haiz.
so conclusion is,
once i got out to work,
got the money,
i am going to bring my whole family out for a trip to Beijing.
it's been long since parents travelled overseas and on a plane.
trying to save every single cent up to provide our studies and basic needs.
the effort they put in,
i seen it.

oh wells,
we're into half of the 4th week here.
this week is a 6days work week,
then following that will be a 3 days public holidays over here due to 清明节.
it's time to re-plan where to go again for this long weekend since Beijing trip is aborted.

will be heading back to Singapore in 2.5 weeks time!
excited!
finally back to my own bed,
my own house,
my family members and my dearest!
my troupe mate.
i miss you guys loads!
till then,
bye peeps! =)

Moving on.

2011-03-29T12:36:00.002+08:00

am now into the fourth week of the 6 weeks attachment here in Shanghai.
kind get bored over here already.
all the plans of going to Beijing etc all got cancelled off at the end.
very spoiler.
yea i know too.
it did dampened my mood alot.
i want sightseeings.
but there's just so much that i can get out of here.
going everywhere seems so inaccessible,
so troublesome,
so time consuming to get to.
i wouldn't mind all these actually.
but it's some other factors that cause the change and aborting of plans each and every time.
it hypes up your mood and throw you all the way down.
it sucks.

it's getting boring here.
and to be honest,
i kind of hate the kind of life i am leading now.
seriously,
what's the point of throwing myself out of Singapore and communicate with all loved ones through social networks, webcams and all.
gets me pretty pissed off whenever i come thinking of this.
and i am leading a life which i don't like it at all.
mask.
i am wearing a mask everyday.
all hours except for those when i am asleep 'cause i ain't conscious.
all other times,
fake.
fake myself out.
and for once i be myself,
i got told off saying i guai lan.
then all that i can say,
you don't know me well.
that's how i communicate with my group of friends whom i am close with and i don't have to wear a single mask with them at any second, any point of time.
i dread the kind of life i am leading now.
i want to head back to Singapore asap.

it always sets me thinking,
what if it was somebody else who was on this trip with me.
will everything be so much better?
what if it was dearest instead?
it would probably be a whole lot better and i wouldn't mind travelling so far down to Beijing with that 12 hours ride to and another 12 hours ride fro.
i wouldn't mind going all out to Shanghai train station to get the train tickets.
i wouldn't mind going all sorts of places no matter how tiring it is so long the person/people i am travelling with has/have the same interest of travelling around.
ironically,
one prefers to shop-till-she-drops while i prefer to just slack around and have a relaxed and peaceful life for the precious weekends that i have to gain the energy for a new week for this trip.
i seriously hate this kind of life.
whether y ou like it anot,
this is the truth.
a truth that i don't wish to hide at all.

this week and another 2 weeks it's all that i have to endure.
it would be over soon.
it will be.
hang on there.
i know i can do it.

再一个月就好了。

2011-03-20T01:21:00.002+08:00

我告诉自己要坚强、
我告诉自己要忍耐、
我告诉自己其实过得很好、
我告诉自己一切的一切很快就会过去的。

我骗自己其实没有这么想念家人和他、
在第二次打回家给妈妈时我骗她因为这里太冷所以声音在颤抖但其实我哭了、
我骗了所有关心我的人我在这里过得很好、
我骗了自己更多更多的东西。

我想念着每一个人、
家人、朋友、他、食物。
我挂念着每一个爱我和我爱的人。
我们其实都在牵挂着对方。
彼此心中的担忧我们虽没说但了解也感受得到。

我真的真的真的很希望时间过得快一点。
我想回去了。
我想家了。
我想念每个人了。
我想念在新加坡的一切了。

在那里的你们真的一切安好吗？
希望在那里的你们一切顺利、平安。

多一下下、
在多一下下就过了。

1 more month.

2011-03-17T22:00:00.001+08:00

in about 30 days i will be back in Singapore for good.
so dying for time to pass faster so that i can reach home asap.
getting sicked and tired and bored of the stuffs here.

i miss my bed and my pillow,
i miss my piglets on my bed,
i miss mummy's food!
(the food here is so oily and insanely salty!)
i miss dearest hugs,
i miss sleeping on his laps,
i miss pinching his fatty flabby stomach,
i miss plucking his moustache whenever he have it on too long and don't bother to shave it off.
i miss taking an hour bath in my toilet,
taking my own sweet time to do everything,
i miss all sorts of chilli sauces.

argh.
i want to go back asap.
been missing out so many things especially those things in training and family gatherings.
the feeling sucks man.
grr!!!!!!!
and why doesn't he want to come here and accompany me for this one week with his March holidays?!

WHY?

2011-03-12T22:28:00.002+08:00

march school holidays have already started for students under MOE.
ever since i knew i might be coming over to Shanghai,
i kept asking you to come over to accompany me during this week even if it's only for a weekend that has only 2 days,
even if you want to come over starting from weekdays to weekend and fly back on sunday,
i seriously don't mind rushing to meet you after work straight and then dine out with you instead of eating free dinner in the factory ~~'cause i am sick of it already~~.
i don't mind reaching back to the factory hostel late and having minimum sleep/ freezing to death when bathing.
is really air tickets cost a problem?
i know you aren't willing to spend but i am dying to see you and hoping that you are here with me every single second,
protecting me and all.
I AM SUFFERING though i didn't tell you these parts 'cause i didn't want you and any single one of you to be worried of me.
so what if i posted all those photos on facebook?
so what if i told you how happy i was with those things that i bought back?
did you know i was forced to take all those photos?
did you know i never like those stuffs that i am doing with her?
did you know how bad and difficult to communicate with her?
she forced me to do things i didn't like,
even when i declined,
she forces me to.
i have got no chance to say no.
she drags time always,
no sense of urgency,
don't listen to all important stuffs and remembering them and i have to repeat myself to her every single time.
it just sucks.
i hate it.
she uses my things as though it's hers.
totally no sense of shame.
uses my stuffs as though she's the owner and i am taking her stuffs.
always want to be late for work.
knows that her watch is 10minutes late and yet still insist on following her time.
i don't like going out at night 'cause i want ample rest physically due to my back condition.
she never understood,
pulling me out every single night.
she just likes to go out whole day today and even if it's very late already,
she wants to continue shopping even when she don't have anymore money.
she never cares if i am going to be dead and tired the next day.
i don't know.
i don't like it.
this is the major problem why i was hestitaing if i should come OITP 'cause i know i wouldn't enjoy her accompaniment.
i hate her working attitude with her always being so lethargic, lazy and no drive or motivation at work.
i hate it like mad.
i seriously just want you to be here with me even if it's for awhile.
is it that difficult?
i miss you being here with me for this whole day today 'cause it's Saturday.
i miss not calling you every single night.
i miss not seeing you right infront of me physically.
video call is not the same.
totally not the same.
do you know that?
do you know how much i misses you?
do you know how much i long to be with you right now at this time, over here at Shanghai.
is everything really that difficult?
all the time that i told you i was happy,
i was blaughing.
the only time that was true was when i told you i succeeded in testing the MFI value of the new product.
other than that,
all was fake.
everything without you seems so incomplete.
no one is here to hold my hands through the paths and stuffs that i am going through right now.
success and everything isn't the same without you.
why can't you just fly over?
do you know how much i need you right now and in my entire life?

OITP- Shanghai Day 1

2011-03-08T01:03:00.002+08:00

yeap i reached the company at Shanghai safely yesterday.

still trying to get use to the temperature here.

obviously i got cheated by my aunt who says the temperature here is about 10 degree C and it wouldn't be that bad at night too.

alighted from the plane at around 3pm,
temperature was 9 degree C.

ok i thought it wasn't too bad until we went outdoors.

it was mad crazy cold and chilly.

so took the company vehicle to the factory here in Shanghai.
and it went to 8.4 degree C.
pardon that 0.6,

it felt like it dropped a degree or 2.

super cold.

and wearing a shirt + a jacket + a wool windbreaker doesn't help much.

worst of all,

when Eva and I went back to the factory back at night,

it was much more colder that wearing all those on top plus another windbreaker isn't enough to save me from the coldness.
and cold weather= get hungry easier.

finished our flight meal at around 1plus or 2pm and i ate so much yet felt hungry at 5pm.

oh ya,
from Pudong airport,
it was supposed to be a 1 hour journey to the factory but ended up being an approximately 2.5 hours journey due to the jam and an accident which made us needing to take the long route instead of the highway.
went Ajisen Ramen straight after we put our things in the hostel.
and tomorrow gonna be a shopping day to shop for our breakfasts (yes, we got conned by Mr Nee saying every meal is being provided),
and i am going to buy some thick socks, gloves and some winter wear i swear.
alrights that's all for now,
not uploading photos yet 'cause internet connection is way too slow.
just a 152kb photo for facebook took me half hour and it's not even 50% uploaded.
so....
till i get back to Singapore then you guys will have photos to see unless i am super patience during one of the days to upload photos.
will update soon~.

just a photo of just now:
webcam with dearest at 1130pm when the internet connection is finally stable,
he's sleeping/blur-ing 1/4 of the time though

Just Before Shanghai

2011-03-06T22:21:00.001+08:00

flying off soon in about 12 hours.
don't feel like flying off.
just want to Singapore.
can I?
kind of too late to make this decision now.
am glad i spent these 2 days with dearest.
one whole day together yesterday and almost 3/4 of a day (from 11am-5pm) with him today.
no i didn't send him out of my house door at 5pm,
i didn't even sent him out of my room!
don't like this kind of bidding farewells thing.
i never like goodbyes.
i would really rather nobody sends me off to the airport than having anyone sending me especially loved ones.
make me regret going for trips in time like that.
argh.

but everything has been booked,
so no choice but to go.
and yeap,
will be using a by-pass programme in China to be able to access all websites.
but just in case it fails to help me,
this is where you all can get my updates from.

http://blog.sina.com.cn/peizhenwithlove

till then,
see you guys 6 weeks later if i don't manage to come into blogger!

S&PM

2011-03-02T00:29:00.000+08:00

whoo hoo.
i love you though i screwed the MCQ session.
i regretted not reading through those past year papers for MCQs and just spammed doing all the calculations.
to be honest,
many marks were lost due to screwing the MCQ session.
scored only 50% of the marks allocated for MCQ.
boo hoo!

the rest were rather manageable.
i won't say is easy until you can shake your backside, open your wings and show off to everybody.
made a careless mistake for the question on Poisson's ratio.
how sucky.
forgotten that one has got to be addition and the other to be subtraction and ended up doing both subtraction.
oh wells.
i should be happy for that at least i manage to solve 80% of that question.
instead of the full 7 marks,
should be able to get 5 for it.
being able to rush it out when i am left with 10 mins with me panicking,
5marks of out 7 is good enough for me.
screwed up on one long question.
not totally but hmmm...
1/3 of it.
happy on the point of view that i didn't score a complete 0 out of the 15 marks.

but there goes my aim for AD.
chey.
sucks much.
most likely gonna drop to a B+ or A- for this paper.
with the fact the i flunked it by less than 10 marks for MST,
total grade gonna be pulled down to probably a C unless my practicals and the report score mad crazy.

compared to QAAS,
you and engineering maths II were such a gem.
seriously till now,
i don't have high hopes for QAAS.
gonna flunk it like mad.
if i am lucky,
it's gonna be a D-.
if i am that unlucky,
it's gonna be a repeat module.
sucks much.
this semester's GPA gonna be so cui.

alrights,
off to pack some of the stuffs i need for Shnghai and then it's gonna be sleeping time.
got to recharge myself before the last lap of studying for the last paper.

hopefully i can finish packing my luggage by this Friday.
i want to spend more time with dearest and also rest at home before works starts!

QAAS.

2011-02-28T21:19:00.000+08:00

suffered a defeat.
died a terrible death at the battle scene.
felt like killing myself halfway through the paper.

doing more papers now for S&PM tomorrow.
don't want to suffer anymore defeats.
i hate that feeling.

Engineering Maths II

2011-02-24T12:40:00.000+08:00

first paper,
engineering math II in 4 hours time.
i hate myself during study week.
every single little thing just pisses me off be it from living thing or non-living thing.
and i just want to stay at home,
be cooped up and do whatever i deem necessary and good for the upcoming papers.
and at times,
i would just want to go out and shop around during this study week.
but,
at the thought of exam is here,
i dropped the idea again.
i don't know.
but this is that kind of mood swings i have everytime during study week.
pissed easily and all.
and the most innocent victim of all,
him.
'cause he's the one whom i communicate with the most = he pisses me off the most.
crap shit.
i never like study weeks/ exam periods.
when i say i hate exams of wish there weren't any,
i didn't mean to hate the papers.
i mean to hate the process i am going through for studying and preparing for the papers.
it just make me so not myself.
and soon when he knows i become this way everytime during study weeks etc,
he starts to leave me alone and stop irritating me for this period of time.
best of all,
he's just there to say please eat appropriately and remember your meals and please don't get anxiety attack.
oh how great.
thanks much.

i can't wait for this exam to end.
ironically,
my papers always start so much later than the rest of the people and for these 4 semesters,
3 of the semesters i have my last papers ending on the last day, at the freaking last slot.
what a luck.
and to make things worse,
this semester i wouldn't even have a break after my last paper.
for all i know,
saturday and sunday is for packing and resting at home and then monday off i am flying to Shanghai for OITP.
no holidays at all unless you deem packing your luggages to be enough for 6 weeks (the list of things to draft out on what to bring is headache enough) and staying 1 day on the plane is your holidays.

oh wells.
let's hope for time to pass fast and slow together at the same time.

till then,
bye.

Happy Valentine's Day 2011

2011-02-20T02:24:00.001+08:00

14th February, Valentine's Day.

nope.

we didn't celebrate it on that day itself nor did we celebrate it earlier.

we celebrated it 5 days later which was yesterday on the 19th February.

this year's Valentine's a special one.

both of us were sick.

culprit: him and all thanks to that bowl of soup i shared with him when we were at his house for dinner.

he passed me the sore throat and cough virus.

but sore throat first acted and then came along the flu.

and once i recovered from the flu,

here came the terrible cough that killed me almost every night whereby i would be coughing my lungs out and having such an ultimate sore throat.

he started off with his sore throat and cough,

and when i was having my switchover of flu towards the cough,

he had the opposite.

from this,

i concluded that all these 3 viruses i gotten it from him just that mine go the opposite cycle as his.

much as i was complaining to him regarding the very boring Valentine's Day this year in all our Valentine's celebrations 'cause i am all cooped at home studying and sleeping every two hours 'cause of me being sick,

he said it's not boring at all 'cause we were both sick at the same time at this special day.

it's such a rare opportunity and it's so romantic.

yes i agree is a rare opportunity to be sick at the same time at such a date but i don't see it very romantic 'cause i am suffering like some crazy person!

and so,

the belated Valentine's was celebrated.

both of us were still sick with worsened condition but no choice,

we got to go 'cause i won't be free for the next 2 weeks due to exam and the busy preparation for the Shanghai OITP.

we walked round and round,

first i wanted to eat Crystal Jade but he kept rejecting saying it's too expensive for the quantity.

(yes, he pays for quantity not quality!)

then i suggested some 茶餐厅.

went from Paragon (Crystal Jade), Wisma (got fooled by Crystal Jade web for saying they have a shop there), Takashimaya (Crystal Jade).

thought that the 茶餐厅 would be at Takashimaya too 'cause i remembered seeing it at the food fare there.

but sadly,

i think it closed already 'cause situated at that place now is Ajisen Ramen.

so we went from Takashimaya to Wisma to ION and finally found our 茶餐厅!

yes,

that's the bill at the last picture.

he paid everything in the end when it was supposed to be a go dutch session as we agreed earlier on.

first two pictures are our main course.

mine is the black pepper chicken chop with egg on rice with iced hongkong milk tea and his was a chicken chop fried rice with iced yuan yang.

i gladly gave him the egg 'cause i forgotten to ask them to have it fully cooked.

i hate those sunny side up types!

disgusting maximum!

and he ordered this chicken chop fried rice 'cause in the menu,

the english and chinese names were too fancy and there wasn't any photos for it.

so,

he tried that out.

the food isn't that bad.

at least for this whole meal,

i didn't feel any thirst after that = MSG very little! =)

the drinks are mad crazily sweet and filled with lots of condensed milk though! =(

in the third picture,

you could see the pan fried dumpling.

my favourite chinese tim sum dish that i would call at any chinese restaurant if they have it.

sadly to say,

this one cooled down too fast and i think due to me being sick,

the vinegar somehow tasted tasteless to me though he said the sour taste of the vinegar is there.

the last picture,

when we were at the start browsing at the menu,

he chop stamp tell me he wanted to have it.

then i saw them serving to others and i asked him to confirm again 'cause it's so damn huge!

he said order one and we share.

ok so we decided on it.

and the other reason why we ordered is 'cause it comes with a super small sized mango pudding which cost $3.90++.

the portion is not even 1/5 of the snow ice.

so we ordered and we nearly got killed by eating it.

not 'cause we were full but the coldness.

just when we were halfway through eating the snow ice,

he started trembling (you can typically see his whole body trembles!) and i started feeling cold too!

but got to force ourselves to eat finish 'cause we weren't full yet and we would never ever leave the food in the lurge like that unless really necessary.

if you guys were to order this the next time,

eat the mango pudding first.

the snow ice is just too sweet that it would just killed off all the taste of the pudding and make the pudding taste very sour.

at least the mango bits for the snow ice are sweet but whether is it from fresh mangoes then i have got no idea.
and and,
i will never forget how big the eyes of the girl who came in with her bf sitting next to us when this dish was just served.
her eyes simply popped out like 2 big marbles.
then she was exclaiming to her bf in those super shock look.
haha!
and when her bf asked if she liked to have one,
she shook her head with those "are-you-crazy-look" on her face.
made me laughed.
they shifted when we just started eating the snow ice bet she's going to laugh at us stuffing the snow ice down if she was sitting beside us until we finished eating!

then after that we just went to Borders and used it like a library to read some books up there.

we just follow suit we what others are doing.

"monkey sees, monkey do", well said!

then left for Takashimaya to board bus at 4 to gather at CC.

would have went for a movie if not for the rush in time.

we couldn't find my pig so my luggage gonna come very soon.

but will get it perhaps 2 days before i fly i guess.

unless i have got the time to go to shop and buy one next week!

yeap that's all for our Valentine's Day this year.

CNY 2011

2011-02-20T01:21:00.001+08:00

15 days of CNY just went past in a blink of an eye.
this year's CNY was just too fast to be true.
probably due to it crossing only 1 full week for the actual days and not like the previous years whereby it stretched over 2 weeks or so.
didn't participate much in this year's performance.
was only there for 2 night performances and the weekends.
other weekdays were spent in school clearing tests and studying at home in the event whereby there's more than enough people required for the performance and i did not need to go down.
am glad that i didn't skipped school and still managed to have some time at home studying.
though i haven't done alot,
but at least i had got more time to revise for those modules that i really suck in.

day 1, 4, 10, 11 and 15's night were pretty much the same as previous years.
attended performances as per normal.
was very happy for that i managed to see my 表姐 when i was back home on the first day of CNY.
haven't seen a single one of them for the past ten years ever since i joined the troupe.
she stayed that late just to wait for us to see us.
very touched indeed and no words can describe how happy i was upon seeing her.
it would be better if i could see all of the rest.
can i not go for 初一's performance next year?
it's been 10 years and i really think it's time for me to stay at home and see all these paternal relatives whereby i wouldn't even see some of them through out the whole year and the only time is on the first day of CNY 'cause we weren't that close like those with my maternal except for my 表姐.
but i fear for troupe mates to be there saying you can visit them some other days.
perhaps as i grow older,
family times are more that i treasure and would like to cherish.
maybe a different decision would be made next year for the first day of CNY.

2nd day of CNY was spent at my maternal 2nd aunt's house.
lunch there, dinner there.
after lunch,
the gambling gang started gambling.
me,
needing the money to go overseas didn't play but managed to help my grandmother and 小姨丈 to play.
i got to say,
my luck for that day sucks big time. =X
but i didn't stay for long.
don't like to gamble.
why put your own money at risk like seriously.
you can't guarantee yourself that for every bet you placed in,
you gonna win.
my 小姨丈 said you play to enjoy the thrill and all.
ahh i begged to differ.
i rather place the money for better usage.
and so,
halfway through,
met up with TTT andwent to Discovery Centre for a 3D show then back to my 2nd aunt's place again.

now back to studying,
i just hope i can do well for this semestral exam and pull up that shitty GPA of mine.
after this semester and if nothing goes wrong,
i am left with 2 semesters in SP.
it's gonna be a tough one looking at how much i need to pull up for my GPA now.
nobody knows anything better than i do.

Breaking Down.

2011-02-09T01:36:00.001+08:00

because at times we aren't that strong,
because at times we get too tired to hold on tight,
because even SHEROs have their vulnerable sides,
because at times when we want to break down, we held back,
because at times when we don't speak up, people take it as you don't care and you aren't hurt and they continue doing the same thing over and over again,
because at times we let things go too lightly and everybody starts climbing all over you,
because we don't want to let people see the weaker side of us, we act to be strong to face everything right infront of us,
because at times when we put in so much efforts into the things that we are doing don't reap the respective rewards and we felt disappointed but we keep it to ourselves,
and thus when all these finally accumulated to the brim,
we explodes.

then people starts to look at you at a different angle now.
you:
-can't take jokes
-weird mood swings
-should not get near to you 'cause they're unsure if they would cross the line
-thinking what's wrong with you nowadays where all these were fine before
-and all negative stuffs you can fill in here.

masks.
i guess everyone wears it around.
only himself/herself knows who he/she is truthful to, with no mask on to entertain.
friends.
how many friends in your circle allows you to not mask youself up and to do things their ways in order to socialize with them?
school work.
how many times you see people scoring like some rockets high scores when the effort you put into it is more than they do?
schhol project work and events.
how you wish everything could be evenly distributed out but there are bound to be areas whereby you need to do so much more than the other when you get the same amount of credit.

i wear masks to socialize with different people.
because not everyone behaves the same way as you do.
school work, projects and events,
i tried to ace them with so much effort filled in but everytime comes disappointment.
everytime when someone asks "are you ok?"
i would be sure to say that i am.
even if i don't,
my tone sounds as though i am alright.

i want to shed off this habit of wearing this mask, going everywhere to go clique around with everyone.
but sadly to say,
once i shed it off,
it would be the negative side that you would see.
i don't really love socializing yet i wish to take part in your activities,
if i can,
i wish i don't have to talk but i want to keep the chatting going on 'cause i think that's how bonds are strengthen.
i wish i don't have to laugh along every single time,
i wish i don't have to "entertain" people,
i wish i don't have to fake at times.
but all these seems to be too bad if i were to really present this out.

i am sick and tired of this kind of life that i am going through.
i wish and want to end this and yet fear the outcome.
contradictive?
i am.
i'm reallly tired.
can i just let go of everything?
if i were to stop wearing masks and go about,
will people think that i am too boring and strict to be with?
i don't know.
perhaps i shouldn't bother and just let nature takes it course.

maybe all these just came to thoughts when i am just so stressed up with school work,
all the never ending tests and projects so near to the exam date,
the final exam coming up next.
i'm so tired till i feel like giving up on all these.
i don't feel like going university anymore.
so what if i get a low paying job.
i don't want to be bothered about this life.
i don't mind sitting there and wait for the arrival of death.

no matter how optimistic i try to be now,
it just doesn't seems to work and lighten myself up.
i feel like hiding.
going away from everyone,
isolating myself.

i don't know how many times have i cried for this whole of year 2 in poly due to school work, event etc.
it just sucks.
sometimes i wish i was never borned.

nevermind,
shall just let it all out and have a good cry tonight and hope tomorrow would be a better day which i seriously doubt.

For Granted?

2011-02-01T00:37:00.000+08:00

do all things just come in so easily and readily to us or do we take for granted for all major and minor stuffs?
we might be still thinking of getting this and that and just in awhile, we get all those without having a need to laying fingers down on it and making any effort to get it.
at times i ponder,
does whining works so well that basically everytime i does it,
i somehow gets everything done without me having the need to let out any energy.
and so i asked,
why when someone always pester, whine, complain, grumble and doing all sorts of ~~irritating~~ stuffs,
the other party would give in.
is it 'cause the person was too irritated to negotiate/argue anymore?
is it 'cause sometimes they do out of sympathy?
and the answer i gotten was pretty much to that of the first one.
i asked again,
so everytime you agreed to this and that or doing things for me in which i don't-feel-like-doing-yet-got-to-get-it-done is 'cause you're sick and tired and irritated of my whines etc?
the answer gotten was "nope. 'cause i dote on you and don't wish to see you suffer."
for a moment,
i felt kinda love and touched.
but after thinking back and repeating the sentence with the tone spoken,
that line seemed so fake. =X
so it lies down to once again irritated and sympathy.
regardless of what,
i would still hack and just take it.
i don't need to do things and i am able to still get the final product in the end.
the most that i need to do is just some final touch up.
so what if that's what i do?
the worst thing of all,
i took all these things so easily,
thinking that it will definitely succeed and someone will do the job for me regardless what especially him.
i seldom say thank you for all that people have done.
and till i finally lost abit of it when they rejected helping me,
blood boiled to the maximum.
i don't know why but just,
i think,
i probably take everything too easily and for granted as it is.

Tough.

2011-01-27T01:41:00.001+08:00

many things have been happening lately be it good or bad.
and i am almost losing my breath,
losing my patience,
losing the passion,
losing the drive,
losing almost everything that i could which make me feel as though i am going to collapse anytime soon.

school work piled up like super high mountains which you can think off.
all submission dates are just before CNY eve.
tests are up.
2 down for this week.
having 2 more tests tomorrow which one of it is 30% of the entire module 'cause it's fully ICA.
best thing being,
i haven't even started studying the whole damn book which is required for the test in which i deem it more like an exam already.
one presentation coming up on the fifth day of CNY,
1 more test during CNY period just before study break.
or i should say, 1 of it might even be during the study break.
left with the very last formal report.
i lost the drift in doing it.
due tomorrow.
what am i suppose to do?
money for event haven't been reimbursed,
$300+ still with school and i have got no idea when i can get back just in case school needs us to place the deposit of $400 for OITP.
speaking of that,
i don't even know whether OITP is confirmed,
when is the flight etc.
i want to go Bintan.
i really do.
i don't dare to give any hopes for the flight to be on Monday morning if we are going over so as not to be disappointed in the end.
after OITP will be school,
then FYP and that declares no more term breaks, long holidays till i graduate from this school.
no life.
i doubt i am going to enjoy.
now i start to wonder if i really wants to proceed to university or should i come out to the society to work with whatever qualifications i have on hand,
take a breather before continuing for further studies.

things isn't any better when the one whom you have been depending on don't understand what you are going through and doing nothing to support you.
i just wish for more time to spend with each other but you just can't seem to get it even when i made it so clear to you.
playing games and sleeping are so much more important to you.
school is your top priority.
where do your family members stand?
where do i stand?
so what if you carve out a career so great but the relationship with family members and all are so thinly built?
i don't see a point there.
sometimes you really make me wonder what's the point of making so much effort but you just take it for granted or at times,
don't even care about it.
"true love = unconditional love"
does all that i need from you (time, a listening ear instead of falling asleep most of the times) are conditions you need to compromise?
you yourself also said time spent together was alot lesser as compared to the past but you aren't making any effort in improving the situation right?
"moving on to the next stage where we understand each other better and meetings could be lesser and all", this sentence that you said made me feel that this relationship between had fallen.
how well do we know each other now?
i don't know and i don't want to know.
at times like this,
i just wish to stay on my own, away from you.
all that i can say is perhaps my friends know what's going on with me much more better than you do.
something must be wrong in here right?
i can't be bothered to call, message or meet you.
i don't wish to trouble you further,
don't wish to add on to your burden if you feel any.
this time roun,
nature shall take its course.
when everything gone down, then let it be the end.
making both parties upset and tired isn't any great thing anyway.

i don't feel the CNY mood.
much as i am trying to make myself looking forward to it,
that spirit just couldn't be lifted up.
new year clothes this year were bought so hastily,
i can't be bothered to dress up nicely.
shall go with mix and match this year.
not sure how it would turn out,
but with the kind of atmosphere i am in,
i really can't be bothered anymore.

"live life to the fullest at present, cherish whatever you have."
i am living it to the fullest and trying to maximise all the time that i can.
but does living it to the fullest doing things which i don't like and making me all so tensed up and upset counts?

home,
the warmest place that can hoax and coax me best.
my family is all that i need.
so what if i don't tell them how stressed up i am because i don't want them to get worried for me.
just a simple dinner with them together,
updating each other,
hearing their stories.
all these are more than enough.
this kind of warmth,
no one can ever give you.

'cause you won't know what's going to happen tomorrow,
spend more time with your loved ones whenever you can so you won't have regrets.
and even if you do,
at least,
it's at the minimum.

OITP

2011-01-13T22:36:00.001+08:00

intervew is next monday.
not very sure whether i will be in for it due to my sucky GPA.
2 placements at Shanghai.
we two are the ones who are in it.
got to pass the interview though.

i don't know.
am having mixed feelings right now.
going overseas for itp is my aim when i get to know OITP is available.
but the costs are so high and my gpa just sucks.
everything just seems so impossible.
now,
given the chance,
i know how much it will benefit me.
be it learning different technologies,
the amount of hands on i have that will definitely benefit me if i were to go into this industry,
experiencing different culture and roaming around.
and this is probably the long overseas trip which i can go to until after my graduation before i resume travelling.
'cause once FYP starts,
june, december and whatever term breaks you can think off will be all given to doing FYP.
and i guess i want to just start saving money now and go Taiwan for my overseas trip after graduation.

but,
going away for 6 weeks,
i don't want to cause financial strain in my family but i am kind of relieved now.
i know,
the amount of money that i have now is definitely enough to support myself for the trip.
i don't want to be away from home for so long.
6 weeks.
1.5 months.
some said it would pass fast.
how would that ever possibly be when going on a 4 days 3 nights trip is enough to make me feel homesick.
definitely going to miss mama's cooking.
to make things worse,
i won't be able to see him physically for 6 weeks.
and unless he get a webcam,
i wouldn't see him at all even through a flat screen when i am in msn with him.
and that means no hugs, no nothing.
sick maximum.
i just hope if i am really in for it,
he will be able to fly till Shanghai to find me during his march holidays break.

well.
shall not think so much until the trip is confirmed.
no point worrying now 'cause who knows i might be staying local to do ITP right?

The End, A New Beginning.

2011-01-01T02:47:00.000+08:00

first day of 2011.
let's do some summing up of 2010.
boring way to start with but it's the easiest to see if you have hit the resolutions you set at this very time last year isn't it?
so let's go.

i:
- successfully went up to year 2 in poly though my GPA sucks like shit
- had a broke up a few days before my 18th birthday (how great #$%!@#$ )
- officially turned 18 on the 29th of this year and had a surprised birthday on the 30th
- dislocated my toe right at the beginning of the training, which was not even intensive yet, for skilled dragon competition
- patched back due to the dislocation incident and we realised how much each was suffering for that almost 2 months without each other
- went overseas with friends on my own with my hard earned money especially 1 day straight after the rule of "no-walking, no-jumping, no-swimming, no-running, no-high-heels" due to my dislocation
- manage to go back to my primary school, due to mid autumn festival, after years of not returning
- ended my journey with Starbucks in November ( at least i complied to what i was told when i begin the journey which is 'to-be-able-to-commit-for-1-year')
- had a crazy month celebrating anniversary whereby all my wishes were granted =)
- went to bali (one of my dream places to go to)

so,
much of my resolutions were met.
i suppose.
but definitely not on the dislocation, quitting my job and the breaking up part.

for all that went well,
for all that gone hay wire and depressing enough,
i thank them for happening.
'cause it let me know at which areas i am good at,
at which i need to brush up on.
and some,
which made me feel so hurt and yet learn something out of it.
am greatful and thankful for all that happens.

new year, new resolutions.
i have got no idea how much i can fulfil but,
at the very least,
i know i will keep them in mind and try achieving them.

1. go to Boracay Island, Phillipines
2. to BKK
3. a way better GPA than what i am having now
4. to get into a good ITP job
5. better triumph in all aspects
6. TO SLIM DOWN!!!!!!!!
7. to have important dates spent with loved ones
8. see the ammount of money in my bank grow
9. for all events that are going to be planned to go well and smooth

i shall add on to this list when more comes into my mind.
last of all,
happy new year everyone!
live this year and everyday of your lives to the fullest.
and may all have this new year filled with lots and lots of love, laughters, happiness, joy and good health.
spread them to all around you as well.

Hands Off.

2010-12-14T15:43:00.005+08:00

heard two different stories yesterday night.
one side saying they might go to the airport to eat,
the other saying they would be coming my house to eat dinner before going off.
thus i posted the question.
i don't find myself having any "attitude" tone in that question i asked.
then i went on telling after getting the answer,
"if you guys are going over, tell dad yourself so that he don't have to rush to and fro."
and i got shouted.
best.

so just now i asked my mum who's coming to eat this friday night since she brought out the topic of what she might be cooking on that day.
then she said "not Teck Tong only meh?"
"how about the rest?" i asked.
and she just replied they said that they are going to the airport to eat.
so i posted back the same thing to her.
then if they are going there to eat,
they can't possibly take dad's car and if dad only drives me and TTT,
it would be such a waste on time and money (all the ERPs and fuel) and also dad have to rush like nobody business so do you 'cause you need to cook.
and my mum just replied "that's why i scolded him yesterday. how come cannot all go together blah blah blah".
so i went on telling my mum what happened yesterday night and after telling,
i got shouted at by that somebody again.

ok seriously,
i can't be bothered about where you guys want to eat.
if you want to eat there, so be it.
if you want to eat at my place, so be it.
but the very thing is one already told my dad that the rest are coming over and taking the car.
(not me 'cause i only asked on the side of TTT)
and out of nowhere,
all backed out.
it's ridiculous too if i were to ask him to drive us (me and TTT) only two people to Changi and that he has to rush all the way back to Sembawang for his classes.
so if you are thinking on the whole area of people involve,
it couldn't be you affecting one or two people but the whole lot that is.
and pardon more with one person already confirmed, guarantee, chop stamp coming.
i wouldn't mind if i were to eat at home alone and travel down to Changi using public transport with TTT.
but what's with the telling-people-yes-they-are-coming-yet-back-out-and-affecting-all-people?

and the most pissed off is,
i was just posting out questions to which whether you guys are coming or going there to eat and the transport questions yet i got shouted and attitude from that very person was shown.
so what am i suppose to conclude when i get all these just by telling you the very obvious communication breakdown that you guys have?
i'm to blame for poking my nose into all your businesses too much?
i'm to blame for showing you where had all the communication gone wrong?

fine then,
no more of such stuffs.
from now on,
you guys just do what you all decide.
and next time if my mum were to ask
"is there many people going from this area? if yes, i ask dad to drive you guys there,"
i will just reject her to prevent such thing from happening again which dampens alot of my mood.
so what if the trip is coming up so soon and those activities look exciting?
if able to,
i wish to withdraw now.
pay for all the whatever money for cancelling and yeap i am so done.
my mood and hyper spirit for that trip is no more there.
if not for my mum who have already changed the money and the sake that i asked TTT to go in the first place 'cause i am going,
i would have back out now regardless of how much i have to pay.

and i am so going to swear,
whatever you guys decide in the future,
is none of my business.
all that i am hoping for,
think on the bigger picture and not for self.
i know you all want to eat Popeye and all as a group.
but what if you told your parents who and who is coming and end up,
all cancelled last minute?

i am just going to stay at where i am,
not entertaining anyone anymore.
especially that somebody who haven't get known the facts and come shouting at me and in addition, when i tell my mum what happened,
i got shouted too (you only get angry when you do something wrong right? doesn't it make sense?)
too ridiculous.
perhaps you all might think you all haven't given the confirm answer and i have no rights to say this and that.
ok fine.
if i am the one jumping to conclusion,
my fault.
but what i heard wasn't this case to be exact.
especially when one of the answer came to be "i already told mummy to cook one more person's share" when i asked the question yeserday night.

whatever kind of personality, character etc you want to judge me with the above,
so be it.
i can't be bothered anymore.
i have had enough of all the nonsense.
perhaps you should just come and take over my role before you come judging me.
one who just asking around to offer help and after that is done, ensuring that things go well so i don't cause hurt on another person.
if you ask how hurt applies in this case,
think about this,
mum wants to offer help, dad wants to offer help and when all is said and done,
almost all the people who said they wanted back out at the end.
doesn't that make them feel the pain? feel that all their efforts are wasted when arrangements were already made?

if you guys don't need the help, don't appreciate or wants to have other plans,
tell off straight when question asked.
and not till you agreed to this and that and then you back out unless you have reasons for doing that.
and and and,
why can't update each other more frequently to reduce the chances of these things happening?
last barrage experience was also bad.
so lack of updates till some of us ended up so blur.

perhaps i shouldn't think so much anymore in the future.
the first and the very last time i am offering this kind of help.
and probably the very last time i am going to go overseas with the troupe.
it always start badly or end badly or something bad bound to happen in the mid way throughout the trip.

yes,
i am aiming at someone who keeps shouting at me without letting all the thoughts run through his brain before getting all the facts right.
i have had enough of this that has been occuring on you so often.
so, ya.
done.
FULL STOP!!!!

知足

2010-12-05T20:35:00.002+08:00

went out for a dinner and to use it as a break from all the hectic mathematics too.
seriously,
maths drives me crazy.
what's more when it's engineering maths.
but this time around,
it much more better than that when i was having Engineering Maths I.
for now, at least.
just recap for integration and my ultimate love,
Simpson's Rule.
i don't know what's up for the rest of the term but life now with this Engineering Maths II is not bad.
hahah!

had dinner at BPP with that super idiotic idiot.
he brought 2 kopitiam cards that were well expired in July 2009.
luckily he was able to transfer the money to an active card.
so he used mine.
so the money became my money out of nowhere.
but he redeemed all back by ordering 板面 and wanton noodles and ice-kachang.
since he said i can get dessert with the sudden boom in my card amount,
i managed to get my mango pomelo sago.
first time i saw it on the dessert menu board.
(i think they haven't changed their menu board right? i am so ~~not~~ observant to have spotted it =X )
i gotten it and he saw the price --> $3.
after that he commented,
"$1 cheaper than Jurong Point's dessert shop, portion is bigger too.
good!
and i only helped you to pay $1.40 'cause your card balance before i transfered the money was $11.60."
first thought of mine,
totally dumb.
i haven't even tasted it.
if it's nice and on par,
this is definitely worth the deal and price.
BUT BUT BUT.
first mouth and i was shaking my head already.
too artificial.
super strong syrup taste.
it only got better when i had it with the pomelo bits.
and considering the amount of pomelo they placed in,
it was definitely not a very great thing.
too little to let me have them in every scoop i put into my mouth.
conclusion made: i am never going to have it in Kopitiam ever again unless circumstances force me to.
but me is very satisfied that he paid for the little wee bit of my dessert.
just that bit is enough.
i appreciate every single thing you have done be it good or bad.
appreciate the good to have made me happier each time,
appreciate the bad to have made me grow stronger and learn other ways of solving stuffs every single time.
be contented.

Let's Turn Magical. =)

2010-12-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

it's December.
the month that i always look forward too each year without fail.
filled with so much love, surprises and events.
Christmas is top on the list.
then it's boxing day.
of course,
not forgetting the anniversary.
ok despite me loving money,
chinese new year doesn't win Christmas.
i always love the dreamy feeling of Christmas and of course,
with all the celebrations going on.
Christmas gifts?
nah.
i don't really have cliques that uphold the tradition of gifts exchange.
so to be happy or sad?
Christmas --> joyous and sharing event.
i like.

alright this year,
what to hope for Christmas?
hmmmm....
not much.
i seem to have already gotten what i want.
like going to Bali (it's abit out of imagination that i will be going this place for 6 days. but it's only 4 full days that we are having there since we are reaching there super late at night and leaving super early in the morning),
getting my iTouch (oh yeah!).
the one and only thing that i probably want now is my Vera Wang perfume.
i wanted to get it long ago but i just didn't get to buy it.
so....
gonna get at DFS when returning from Bali trip.
and i gonna buy my Vodka too.
and maybe Baileys.
wahhahaha!
ok.
i sounds like an alcoholic.
nope.
i am not.
just want to try out whatever i can now.

anniversary.
not much plan up till now.
ha!
i have got one whole month to celebrate.
so i just going to relax and when ideas strike,
then i will carry out the plan.
worse come to the worse,
take the bali trip as the plan/part of the plan.
we shall see as time goes.

and yeap MST starts this coming Monday.
one paper a day.
and it stretches all the way till this coming Friday.
i-am-feeling-happy.
as compared to last semester,
this semester's MST is so much more relaxed.
i remembered having 6 papers for MST last semester and of which,
majority are brain bombarding kind of papers.
that pretty much explains why i am so happy with my MST schedule this semester despite it being one paper a day.
hopefully will be able to do well since i am able to have sufficient rest in between papers.
i hope.

ok i don't know when i will be updating here again.
you guys can't expect much when life is pretty much mundane on my side.
perhaps when i am done with MST or when i am back from Bali.
so.
yeap.
gone.

Screwed.

2010-11-15T00:23:00.000+08:00

i don't know who on earth would go hacking my school admin account.
for no obvious reasons that is.
and i remembered to log out and shut off the whole system after i use that particular computer before going off somewhere else.
so,
my account got locked due to the people max the maximum number of tries people tried on my password.
now i have got no choice but to wait for the idms people to reply me.
i followed all their instructions to unlock my account.
and the 1st thing to do is to log in to idms and then change the password if i haven't forgotten.
i tried tons of times but,
the system just couldn't log me on.
what the hell!
screw that stupid service and whatever instructions they gave and asked us to follow whereby it doesn't work at all.
screwed up service,
screwed up stuffs!!!!!
tomorrow first lesson : computer database lesson!!!!!!!!!!
and i don't know when are they going to give me a reply!!!!!!!!!
how great!!!!!!!!!!
>.<

2012...

2010-11-07T19:54:00.000+08:00

i don't know if these have crossed your minds.
i want to complete all that i want to go through in my life cycle just like how those adults had before i die.
and those include:
- studying and get my university degree (minimum)
- work
- getting married
- getting pregnant and have my own kids.

so far,
i only strike off one out of the list, which is to work.
i am still studying.
getting married, pregnant and having children is like don't know how many years down the road.
i only want to get married at 25,
to give birth at 28.

but,
there's a rumour spilling all over saying it's dooms day in 2012.
i don't know how true it is.
if i want to strike off everything on that list before dooms day arrive (if it were ever to come),
it means i have to get married off asap by this year or latest next year.
and it will also mean i will have to get pregnant by next year so that in 2012,
i will have at least one baby before dooms day come in December 2012.
as for studies,
the highest i can reach is probably just a Polytechnic diploma unless miracle happens and my brain go so super smart in the speed of a bullet train,
then perhaps i can finish my diploma fast and enter a university fast with like tons of exemptions.
haha!
fat hope.
i never believe miracle happens.
i only believe in shit happens/ shits happen.

what if i carry all these things of getting married and giving birth but dooms day never ever come?
if i want to fulfil all my wishes,
i run the risk of dooms day not happening.
but if dooms day really happen,
i will die with regrets which i don't want.
hmfphs.
what a crazy decision to ever make.

and this is a super random topic which i thought out of it at random.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

When Sorry Won't Help Anything

2010-11-01T20:57:00.001+08:00

yesterday had performance at Serangoon Garden Circle.
after that reached back at CC and was preparing to go back to store.
so i saw him coming up the stairs and i was just playing around with him by giving a hit on his stomach which i didn't use much force.
i just continued walking up to the front after that.
to seek revenge,
he gave a freaking tight slap with full force on my back.
you want to revenge can,
you can hit anywhere else but my back.
i was so freaking pissed for the very fact that he jolly well know i have got back injuries since primary 5 and i keep having relapse after trainings or over straining my back,
yet he still hit me with such great force.

i never ever thought that a guy will ever hit a girl this way.
and up till now,
my back is full of cramp and pain.
and most importantly,
i have got a big patch of blue black and his handprint on my back at where he hit me.
my back haven't recovered and the pain i am suffering now is from my spinal cord all the way up to my shoulder.
the pain is so much more than what i have suffered from the fall which started this whole nightmare of my back injury that doesn't seem to heal despite all the x-rays saying that my back is alright.
and for every slightest movement i have,
i feel the pain.
standing up, sitting down and lying down,
i feel the pain too.
i can't even use much force for my left hand and i am even having problems when lifting my left hand up to change my clothes and all.

i hate and look down on guys who beat girls.
and you happen to be one of them.
no matter how many times you are going to apologise,
i am never going to forgive you.
never in my life.
when i felt my pain getting lighter each time and not relapsing so often,
you pushed me all the way down and so much more deeper than what i have suffered before.
on the other hand,
i thank you for letting me see you much more clearly on your character and personality.

I HATE YOU & YOU MAKE ME DESPISE YOU ALOT!!!!!!!!!!!

Boracay Island, Philippines.

2010-10-28T21:22:00.004+08:00

after going to Bintan in June this year,
my love for going to islands surrounded by beaches and seas increase tremendously.
you don't have to agree to me.
but i love it.
who says travelling overseas means airplanes and tons of shopping.
a relaxing, easy and economic holiday is much worth and cherished.
(i mean, it' good to go on a holiday with quiet environment, not so much of crowd and anywhere like a city.)

as school term started,
my planning for the next overseas trip came crashing my mind like nobody business,
throwing my mood for studying away.
have actually planned and even came out with the itinerary for going to Taiwan next year until my lecturer broke the news out to us saying that FYP is starting once school starts.
and during FYP,
we basically need to go back to schools even during June holidays.
that,
broke my plan.
so since i can't go to Taiwan 'cause once i go,
i will be going for 8 days.
can't possibly leave for so long.

so so so,
i decided to plan another overseas trip.
(yes, although i dont have a job already.but i can do so with saving money or maybe get a job later after ITP ends.)
and i decided to go Boracay Island in Philippines next year!
time to plan, save money and all the necessities! =)

and i can't wait for December Bali trip to confirm asap.
i want to change money fast 'cause the rate now is so low and worth.
i don't want it to continue dragging 'cause it will mean a higher rate for flights, accommodations and any other thing else!
please please please,
FASTER CONFIRM IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ION Swensen's Ice-Cream Buffet 09092010

2010-10-24T23:40:00.002+08:00

ok.
many people have been asking me about the details of ION Swensen's Ice Cream Buffet.
many asked if it's worth,
how does it work and all.

it basically just works like those buffets you normally go to.
you have free servings of the items showed in the pictures below.
so it's free flow.
variety of ice-creams i would say is alot and impossible to finish more than 50 on your own.
sharing is advised.
and do ask them to use the small scoop instead of the normal ice-cream scoops that they used.
'cause some of them really gives full scoop like as though you are buying a single scoop ice-cream from them.
even when they gave you the smaller scoop of ice-creams,
SHARE!
you never know when you are going to feel full even before you tried them all.
toppings wise are of a lesser variety.
you will see them in the photos later.
there are also cakes, cookies and brownies but i didn't bother trying them.
whether it is worthwhile anot,
i would say you will really get full after eating.
it's sweet and all water made.
and for those who wants to know what Swensen's have got other those that those you seen on their normal ice-cream counter right at the entrance of their store,
it will be worthwhile i guess.
'cause alot more of exotic and new flavours are found on the buffet menu.

ok enough said.
time for photos.

this is the menu for the various ice-cream flavours, toppings and cakes.

there are three panels of ice-cream.

the first picture is the normal ones,

second picture is the exotics flavours like Sarsi and all,

last picture is the gelato section.

i personally like the sticky chewy chocolate, butterscotch, yummy raisin, coffee, wild berries, apple crumble, mocha almond fudge and durian from the normal series.

lime, super lemon, berries, raspberries, lychees and one from gelato.

green tea, strawberry sherbet, sarsaparitta (Sarsi), frosted chocolate malt from the exotic side.

(*Hint: Don't eat the durian flavoured one first. the taste is simply too strong to kill all the taste for your next ice-cream flavours.)

the toppings from fruit loops to coco crunch to vegetable sticks to dried cranberries, chocolate chip cookies.

and those bananas too!

(it reminded me that my work place sells 1 piece for $1!)

people,

be warned that those biscuits aren't crispy.

almost 90% are all too chewy and sticky that it sticks on your molar teeth once you start eating them.

you will not feel very comfortable after eating it and you will be spending quite alot of time trying to get those sticky stuffs off your teeth before you continue eating.

the chilled toppings.

some uses it for their ice-cream,

i used it for both my ice-cream and my waffles.

do remember to match them nicely unless you are adventurous. =)

the fondues.

the normal one that you ee with milk chocolate.

and the white one is actually milk chocolate.

very very sweetttt for the white one.

i didn't bother trying anymore after one piece.

'cause it just tasted nothing of chocolate but alot more of condensed milk.

but it's worth a try.

An Ending, A New Beginning.

2010-10-24T20:12:00.002+08:00

as much have guessed from the recent facebook status of mine such as,
"decision made. for a better future."
and the latest,
"ended my last shift today.sorry for those whom i shocked those with the news of me leaving.thanks for all the help during my work there.it's been an enjoyable and fun one.i may or may not be back.everyone just take care k?once again, thanks alot.and best wishes to all. =)"
i ended my 1 year career as a Starbucks part timr barista.
it has been fun there.
definitely.
despite those incidents where super irritating, rude, incorrigible, troublesome customers were there to make me really pissed off on certain shifts,
things were made happy with the other partners on floor.
there were regular customers who are forever so understanding, so caring and good to all of us.
i am definitely going to miss them.
E.g. John, Filz, Lynn etc etc.
they were the regulars who made my shifts so fun 'cause there seems to be so many things to chat and we seem to have passed by the boundary of customers and baristas.
more of a friend-friend thing.
and thanks to all other customers who were great to us although you all aren't regular.
seeing those smiles on your faces and the very sincere and kind "thank you",
i felt the satisfaction.
and i will never ever forget that stupid pet shop owner who threatened me.
damn you.
hmfph.
it's not as if it's the first time we told you not to bring other food into our area.
almost every shift, WE see and WARNED you.

and i received message from Ros when she knew about my leaving.
i am sorry to have shocked so many of you there at SB-BP.
such as Sehaa and all.
i thank all you partners for all the wonderful shifts.
there are some whom i can share thoughts with (Ros,ZiZi),
some who gave great advices (Ros),
some who are always so accommodating (Roy, especially for my schedule that i can't commit much 'cause of school),
some who always bring so much fun and laughters into our shifts (Sehaa, Ihsan and Kenneth a.k.a China Man),
some who are always of great help (new partners, old partners, managers, everybody!),
some who always give the warmth i need during work due to the two stupid air-cons right above our head at the POS area (China Man!).
and i there just so so much to say but i guess it will take me a few pages to type them all.
so i am just going to skip typing them out and keep them deep down somewhere in my heart.
you guys should know how i feel.
love you guys as always.
i will take time out and go to store often to see you guys alright?
i don't stay very far from store too.
hahahahaha.
like i said,
i might be back working in store again.
i don't know.
let's just leave the future alone and when time comes,
you will know when it's right to make another decision.
i resigned just to take a break off from everything for awhile.
thank for all your understanding.
when i'm back,
i will be of a better barista if i ever were to back.
for now,
i shall start missing my dear Verismo,those equipments and the people more and more as time goes by.
and yea,
school started on Monday.
first week of school = slack.
cool?
not really.
is so slack until i only got like 2 or 3 modules that really started teaching.
the rest of the modules are introduction modules just for fun.
and since my this semester timetable has got so so so many breaks or rather super long hours of break at one go,
the so-much-slacking for the first week made time seem so long to pass.
hope next week will be better for lessons to start and end on time so the break wouldn't be so damn freaking long.

alright.
i guess i have typed enough.
shall come back and update soon when i have the time.

KBox, Movie.

2010-10-17T23:30:00.001+08:00

school is starting tomorrow.
i am not at all looking forward to it.
not because i want to work and earn more money.
~~i am dreading work so much till i feel like tendering and find a new job already.~~
i just want to play all day long and relax all day long.
oh wells.
anyway,
there have been news of going to Bali this December already.
but date all those are not confirmed.
2 weeks ago when TTT told me the venue,
i was like yay!
heard the price from him was in range of SGD500-600+,
i yay even more.
but yesterday,
was told that the price is ranging from SGD600+-800+.
my eyes literally went popping out so big while i stared into TTT's direction,
cursing and swearing deep down.
continue dragging and not having confirmed dates will cause the price to steep and increase much more.
simply 'cause air tickets and accommodation increases their rates when you book nearer to your travelling date.
what's more travelling in December at the undefined-supposingly-third-week-of-December where its the peak season and so near to Christmas and all.
if the price is going to go too high,
i am just going to drop out from it.
'cause i see no point spending so much on such a place unless its Maldives.
actually to me,
once the price range hit SGD700 and above for a 4D3N trip to Bali,
it is more than what i can accept and willing to fork out for this trip.
so if prices really go that high i doubt i will want to go already.

and yesterday was out to KBox and movie.
KBox not that high,
due to reasons like room too small, people sick, our voices going sore way too early during the session.
The Child's Eye 3D was so-so.
but TTT and CW was bad.
'cause of some scarry scenes,
i started going more and more towards TTT direction and partly 'cause the person infront of me has got such a big head that blocked my view from the screen.
hmfph!
and there was this one scene that i got quite a huge shock and went all over hiding my face to his side.
then when i went back to my view on the screen,
TTT and CW asked me to look towards my right hand side where Rona, JJ, Ting Yan and my brother were sitting.
both of them were all laughing at them 'cause they were all in similar positions hiding behind their jackets and curling themselves up.
so i just told them they are way too bad.
imagine they still have those evil smiles cum laughs on their faces when they told me that!
went Candy Empire and off to training

training was alright and i am happy that we finally played the new-and-not-so-new drum score.
am so sick and tired of the new CNY piece and qiu yu already.
dragon was alright then.
more basic drillings.
can't wait to set back into those luminous routines again with those jumps here and there etc etc.

met up with TTT at Jurong Point just now.
wanted to clear my crave for my mango pomelo sago.
but nope,
i didn't manage to clear it all thanks to the super long queue and he can't be bothered to queue together with me. =(
gggrrrr.
imagine i have been craving for it since the start of school holidays till now,
the end of school holidays and school gonna start tomorrow already.
argh.
i hate you! =(

by the way,
there's KOI at Clementi already from what i heard from WK.
shall try it out when i am free one day after school or during school break if the queue is not that long.
and yes.
Starbucks gonna start brewing at SP from 18 Oct, tomorrow.
everything on the menu is 10% cheaper than that sold at those Starbucks outlets outside.
so,
those Starbucks fans,
congratulations on you for this good/bad news.
bad news: please don't get fat for over-indulgence for the cheesecakes.

All the best for your first day of school tomorrow and the semester!
jiayous people!
'cause i can see those formal reports smacking right into my face all over once again already.

Spammers.

2010-10-15T21:51:00.000+08:00

if you guys realised,
i already deleted those weird and whatsoever stupid tags from my tagboard.
if the problems persist,
i will remove my tagboard very soon.

SPAMMERS,
THE VERY FIRST AND VERY LAST WARNING TO YOU.
STOP ALL YOUR DOINGS!!!!
________________________________________________________________

i finally ended my super hectic work week.
now is time to rest and recharge for the very lousy school.
ok school wouldn't be lousy if not of the timetable and modules.
so tomorrow gonna be at orchard cineleisure for kbox and movie.
shall update soon.

DCP/FT/2B/02

2010-10-08T22:06:00.000+08:00

hellah.
after release of results would be the release of class timetable.
screw up to the maximum for last semester.
pretty sad to say,
this semester is the same.
just what the hell is wrong with those stupid timetable arrangements for year 2s.
all disgusting to the maximum.

see the GMOULD module makes me sick.
5 credit module.
one tutorial and practical.
all squeeze into one day somemore.
5 hours straight.
will be taught by a very lousy lecturer.
don't ask me how i know.
he taught me last semester and seriously sucks to the maximum.
they say he retiring but why is he still teaching us man?
i don't want to do badly or flunk this module.
5 credit module.
any small failure gonna pull down my GPA mad crazy.
just hope he gonna teach well.
if he doesn't teach well enough,
i gonna find other lecturers teaching this subject to clear my doubts.
the full name of this module is "Graphics Mould and Design".
if it's really so much on design,
i so gonna die!
designing is never my forte.
anyone wants to help me do the designing?
i sponsor you your meals!
hahahahaha!

and i don't have GEMs this semester.
sad.
had the plan to clear all GEMs by this year so that my year 3 will be free of GEMs and can focus on FYP.
too bad.
thinking of the need to find internet access during attachment dreads me.
what if my attachment place has got no internet acces or the mentor doesn't allow me to access to the internet for the registration during my appointment?
nevermind.
forget it.
shall tackle it when the time come.

and i am working 4 days next week.
what a way to end my last week of school holidays.
grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grrr.What To Do?

2010-10-08T19:51:00.000+08:00

this December marks another year.
and,
i don't know what to get and what to do.
one good thing is that we have already confirmed to go to Carousel for dinner buffet.
Oysters Oysters here i come! =)
other than that i really don't know what to prepaee and what to do leh.
die.
how?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?

Love.

2010-10-07T15:38:00.000+08:00

i don't know if you guys watched the news clips on all the happenings after the passing of MM Lee's wife.
yes,
'cause i was at work for the past 2 nights,
i could only watched it on xin msn for the various news clips.
i could only read MM Lee's (The Last Farewell To My Wife) and other family members eulogy on the internet 'cause we can't attend the private ceremony.

never i thought love will exist and stay so true till eternity,
never i thought one would still be as loving to the other after spending so long a period of time together.
their love prove them all.
in the 63 years of living together,
they loved,
they cherished,
they supported one another.

a wife who always "walked two steps behind" her husband "like an Asian wife" yet providing all that he needs.
a mother for taking good care and educating her children so well,
passing them all the principles they ought to grow up with.
her way she stood by and done for her husband and the way she taught her children got to set a role model for any woman out here.
a lesson taught to women through these few days where we got to know her better after her passing.

behind every successful man, there's always a woman.
she chose to be a low profile one who asked for no credits.
without her,
MM Lee wouldn't be able to carve out his career and to build up this nation.
she gave all the reassurance of not needing to worry for his children and family and providing essential and important ideas, advices to MM Lee.
in other words,
she was the founding mother silently.

all stories told these few days for her and their stories shared between them left an etch in my memory.
to love and to accommodate to each other,
to believe that love does exist till eternity and they are one of the best role model ever seen.

i teared when i saw the clip on MM Lee giving the last two kisses to his wife.
i don't know why.
but from that very action,
it speaks too much of which any words or descriptions could describe.

may you rest in peace Madam Kwa Geok Choo.
and i just hope MM Lee stays strong.
so does his family.

Madam Kwa,
i salute you.

With Love.

我要的呢？

2010-10-02T00:43:00.001+08:00

“分开是一种解脱
让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空
你是不是能够给我”

突然觉得这词形容得好贴切、好真实，很靠近我现在的感受。

痛。

BINTAN TRIP: DAY 1

2010-10-01T20:55:00.002+08:00

shall update about the Bintan trip in June.
not all photos will be uploaded 'cause i didn't receive all and i only have my part.
even for mine, i wouldn't be uploading all 'cause there were just too many photos that we took.

here they are below.

was at Singapore Cruise Centre with all the boarding pass and white card.

around the Cruise Centre.

boarded like finally.

we were slacking until cannot slack at the departure hall can!?

and we were thinking what's that "question mark" for on the ceiling at the 2nd picture.

yes.

there's only one emergency door.

everywhere else was nothing but all the glass pane and super strong and durable material for the structure.

may i know

if something really happens,

how are the people inside suppose to escape???

they're playing IP Man throughout the journey.

i forgotten is part 1 or 2 already.

and the sky outside was so damn dark.

it did rain but not really huge currents on the sea surface though.

near Bintan!

we're already in Indonesia.

just woke up and took these pictures.

pardon my just-wake-up look. =X

we reached the resort and this is the room!

was surprise for the room we got due to the sea view and super spacious room at such low rate.

definitely you can't get it in Singapore.

it's Bintan Agro Beach Resort actually.

but beware of power trips.

it was so damn frequent!!!

whoo hoo.

below is the bathroom.

erhems.

is good.

but the shower one was leaking water out to the floor outside the shower area.

too bad. =(

other than that,

it's good.

but keep whatever talking (from the toilet to the room) soft 'cause right outside is the corridor!

oh and i used those mineral water provided to brush my teeth, wash my retainers, rinse my mouth in between flossing and of course, we drank those mineral water.

you can request for new ones, or rather more bottles, it's actually free and they allow you to take as many as you like.

but you MUST request from the frontdesk or those people when they come to clear your room if not,

you will be charged!

off for dinner!

yes very romantic for the vertical photos.

we sat there with lots of insect repellent to look at the sky.

the sky was filled up with nothing but stars.

we went "whao whao whao!!!"

the view was just too breathtaking!

too bad.

no boyfriend. =(

first picture is the spa cum massage area.

and the second one is the open area massage.

it's only for shoulder and foot reflexology.

not those for whole body without clothes one.

guys,

stop your wild thoughts huh!

below is the way towards Sun Moon Restaurant and what we saw at the side.

(i'm lazy to continue describing already. =X)

tadah!

dinner!

if i'm not wrong,

it was sweet and sour chicken,

rice,

sambal kangkong and Sun Moon Platter.

forgotten the cost.

but confirm more than 20SGD.

yes.

it's expensive.

what you expect?

going back to out room.

top left is the corridor towards our room.

ours were the 2 rooms right to the end.

and remember what i said about the "talk softly in toilet"?

those two windows in between the two different room doors are the toilets.

now you understand why i made that comment?

hahahahhaa!

and that's the swimming pool infrontt of us.

top left photo was the one which is the deluxe room.

cheaper but i don't like.

i rather pay more for a room like mine!!!!!!

hahahahahahhahaha!

since already decided to go for a holiday trip,

might as well pay more at reasonable and good price and enjoy right? =)

now, spot the difference between our room door and their room door!!!

Peace & Tranquility

2010-09-30T23:47:00.000+08:00

i miss.

Earn, Save, Spend

2010-09-24T23:04:00.003+08:00

life's too short for grudging,
for not doting on yourself,
for letting yourself to live in some regrets.

we work to earn money.
from the amount earned,
part of it would be saved up and the other amount leftover is for you to spend and dote on yourself or to buy your necessities.
of course,
not to spend too much if you're giving yourself a little treat.

so i saw the 70% sale from SK Jewellery and i have been aiming at it for like 1 week plus.
not the latest designs got the super crazy 70% off.
but the latest design do have a couple percentage of little discounts.
(ok yes, i go after sales 'cause i find no point spending so much where i can get things that i like and want at a lower price.
spend money to dote yourself yes.
but no wrong to save at the same time! =) )
so i bought a necklace and a ring ~~which cost altogether $286~~ as a little gift for myself.
hehe! =)
erm...
i think i spent quite a bomb on just 2 pieces of jewelleries which is making me feel like storing all my money in the back for my next few months of salaries 'cause i believe this will keep me happy for months!
but i like it alot leh.
and and,
it's so much cheaper than those that i spotted on from another brand.
and and and,
i find it as an investment.
so that next year CNY i don't need to spend anymore money on jewelleries ~~except for earrings =X~~ since i can send back those item i bought today for polishing as and when i like.
it got to look as good as new,
or not just a little poorer in condition.
not that much of a worry though since i won't be wearing them often.

alrights.
that's all for now.
will upload Bintan's photos which i took soon.
don't ask me what about the rest of the photos which the rest took.
THEY HAVEN'T PASSED ANY OF THEM TO ME TILL NOW!
TSK!

18th Birthday

2010-09-23T15:43:00.000+08:00

i know it's been 5 months since my birthday was over.

but i was too ~~lazy~~ busy to upload all these photos and only have the time to do so now before work hogs me again tomorrow and don't know how many days next week.

so met up with Rona Soong one day after my birthday which was on the 30th fr kBox as a celebration.

didn't really have the feel to go out and celebrate since there were quite alot of stuffs happening back then.

but 'cause she kept asking,

i went.

i mean,

it would be bad that someone wants to celebrate your birthday for you but you keep declining.

seriously bad.

and so,

they planned for a surprise.

of which i have got a feeling for it since the past birthdays we had were all celebrated using surprises.

hehs.

i remembered typing in facebook "if there were surprises later, i hope you'd be the greatest surprise."

that was my birthday wish.

nope,

wishes didn't come true.

but i still had an enjoyable one despite the regret and the episode of the kBox crew not fixing up the room sound system and therefore,

wasted like 1 hour plus of our time not able to sing and all.

below are the photos.

had a birthday cake waiting for me and yes,

chocolate cake! =)

birthdays are never complete without the presence of a chocolate birthday cake.

shall get one from Awfully Chocolate for my 21st huh.

hhahaha.

the candles are pretty short by that time.

Rona told me they prepared long ago.

i was pretty glad that i didn't agree to go and "buy camera battery" with Rona Song (for them to drag time),

if i really go,

i think by the time i reach the room,

the candles all gone already and maybe a very short one left from the biggest candle representing '10' years old.

I LOVE THE FIRST PICTURE WHICH I POSED FOR THE CAMERA! =)

time for group photos.

self timer plus our bags are the best.

we learnt putting the camera on the bags from Barrage trip.

very useful!

and i told them my 18th you guys give me condom look alike balloons.

what am i suppose to expect for my 21st?!

eat cake, eat cake!

i don't know why i decided to eat the cake this way but it seems like the easiest.

less messy to 'cause we don't have to use any plates, spoons or forks etc.

everybody ate the same way but only me and Rona was being snapped.

mine were all snapped by Rona Soong by the way.

hers i don't know who did.

what's kBox without singing songs?

our (Rona and i) debut on 《我知道》was mad crazy funny!

i can't stop laughing every now and then when i see the recorded video.

and despite using the "condom" balloons as pointers,

Rona never fails to sing those lyrics out wrongly.

those who seen the video on Facebook and present there knows very well what i meant. =P

《老婆》was sweet with lots of funny action.

Rona Soong and I.

pardon the second picture.

me was looking don't-know-like-what and superbly ugly.

you guys can now see clearly how the long balloons look so much like condoms.

and though they know how much i "love" birds,

the bought them to the celebration too.

(look at the last picture)

sending me all goosebumps when i see them and nope,

i didn't take/touch any of it that night even when they asked me to take photos with it.

NEVER!!!

taking photos continued while we waited for Coach and Aunty Doris to arrive after out singing session.

and yeap.

that's the end of the celebration.

thanks for the celebration and planning done.

appreciated it lots people! =)

Distances 1: "Best" Friends, Friends

2010-09-23T02:31:00.001+08:00

i believe many people suffered from feeling more and more distant from each other be it with "best" friends, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, family members etc etc in any part of their lives.
i got to admit i have those miserable moments too
i always believe in "be good to others and others will be good to you. cherish them as they will as well."
but reality slap me right in my face late August.
i know its been quite some time but it still keeps me thinking at night, especially late and sleepless nights after doing closing at work.

realise the inverted commas with the "best friends" in the first paragraph?
what's the definition of "best" friends?
'cause i seriously lost the sense, meaning and defiition of what "best friends" really means.
someone whom you can rely your trust on to share every sweet or sorrow moments with?
someone whom you can trust your secrets and whatever things you have with?
and most importantly,
believing and trusting in them that they will never ever do anything hurtful to you such as backstabbing, bad-mouthing, betraying trusts etc etc?
and what's with planting some trust into normal friends and sharing with them some of your thoughts?
i shared with someone some thoughts i had with somebody back then in the late August and was shocked by the way he/she actually betrayed the trust.
and i was the very last victim of his/hers.
worse of all,
i only realised after he/she left the company and i was informed by the rest the kind of character he/she has and use it to make friends with others.
this caught me thinking and reflecting back on myself.
thinking that why am i so gullible and never ever learnt from lessons not to plant my trust into anybody.
this is not the only incident though.
throughout so many years back then,
there were so many cases of such similar stuffs happening.
i never changed my belief in "being good to everyone, trusting them, cherishing them, no backstabbing etc and they will be doing the same to you".
i remained at this belief until the last August epidsode which i really force myself to wake up and to believe in the reality.
it hurts to see how good friendships can end up all sour and bad due to epidsodes of backstabbing and hurting someone etc.
once too much hurt is done even from that very one incident is enough to pull the once best friends apart from each other,
making them return to super normal friends that don't share anything with each others anymore.
to make things worse,
some may just end up as a Hi-Bye friend and they don't really meet up unless necessary.
yes it hurts to see these happening.
but so what.
even if you removed the arrow from the person's heart, the hole still remains and the pain stays there forever.
years and time after,
he/she will still remember.
and so now,
i can't really be bothered about those things like,
oh she's closer with her,
he's closer with him,
they share thoughts that once used to be shared by a group of us,
they update their lives with each other more often than anyone of us.
what's there to bother about like seriously?
people changes along the way,
some gets closer despite stuffs happening in between,
some just drifts apart.
i remembered hearing one said that "close friends or best friends are made 'cause they often quarrelled and through the quarrels, they know each other better."
i beg to differ.
when things are carried too far,
words came out too heavy,
certain damage ought to have been done enough to kill off all relationships turning the best friends into nothing more than a normal friend or perhaps, not even a normal-friend-relationship is left.
so what's up with the logic of how close or best friends are made?
i don't need to have a pool of friends around me with none i can trust.
i just need two or three to be there and for sure i know they are the ones i can really trust in.
calling them the closest friends i have.
but to think of it,
who are the two or three in my life?
and what about your life?
who are the ones whom you can really pour your hearts out with no worries at all and feeling no walls?

i realised i tend to change a lil from the past years,
i don't plant as my trusts,
i don't share as much thoughts,
treating everyone with extra care for my side and i am always armoured in my own shield.
i have kept a whole lot of stuffs to myself.
not confiding to anyone but myself or this blog which i type the posts but never published.
i tried to share a lil more to those whom i think i can put a lil more trust in but perhaps after the super lots of repeated incidents casted such grey clouds on me that i never thought of sharing anymore than that and so,
i took back the idea of going out one step further.
thinking that letting people know things the lesser, the better.
too much of self-protection,
i know and i supposed.
sometimes i just felt like a tortoise when it comes to sharing my happiness and sorrows with the closer friends i have.
ya,
you didn't read wrongly.
even happiness i don't dare to share.
too afraid for how words could have been twisted behind my back especially after the happening in late August just this year.

when i want to treat one good,
they always disappoint me by doing things that are hurtful.
what to do?
you just got to tell yourself to let go,
let them live their own lives and you stay in your own ground.
you'll be left undisturbed, safe and sound.

of course i wouldn't say that there are totally none super close friends around me.
there are close friends which i share a little more with extreme care not to talk too much.

but there's one who i will share all my thoughts with and throwing my guard off.
one whom we both will forget how old we are, stay as childish as ever, never grown to be mature of each other.
despite all these "never-grow-up" symptoms,
with one look at each other,
we know what's up in each other mind.
happy or sad,
troubled or carefree.
nothing need to be said and we just know what's each other is growing through.
perhaps is this "never-grow-up" worms in our body that makes us stay so strong.
much as she is at the other part of the world which her morning is our night time and vice versa,
much as we only see each other when she's back to where her nationality belongs,
we remained as great.
msn was the only channel when we can't meet up.

but i seriously wonder why long distances worked out much more better than people whom i am seeing everyday, a few times in a week or once in a week.

argh.
whatever.
i find my english standard getting lousier and lousier.
whatever i typed above doesn't seem to be able to express what i really felt.
damn.
please don't take into offence 'cause i seriously don't know how to express it in words.
next time please ask me verbally what this means.
i can't agree more with what my seniors said,
" polys make your languages standards drop!"

An Ending, A New Beginning

2010-09-17T23:40:00.002+08:00

yes!
it's finally over.
and i am glad i memorise thorough enough and i killed the paper instead of it killing me.
so that's the last paper, PMAI.
memorise, vomit and throw.
the paper was rather easy though.
within an hour and i am like 90% done.
was shocked that my brain actually still functions well in the extremely, atrociously cold room.
made me need to go and find the toilet halfway through the paper and i got lost of what i was writing.
took so long to get the feel and idea back.
argh!
whatever.
is over and i'm happy with it.
supposingly to end paper at 610pm.
but i left around 550pm.
i did slow down and double triple checks my work since i'm left with so much time.

and i managed to rush back to CC on time.
had rehearsals and ya,
we are back to BPPS for performance today.
feel so good to be back.
didn't see much of my teachers though.
and love.
i seriously love the feeling of going back to primary school.
seeing that all the teachers whom i know are all doing well and good,
it makes me feel very relieved and happy for them.
dear teachers,
although i didn't go back to school to visit you guys for so long already,
i really miss all of you and really love you guys to the max!
you teachers will always have a place in my heart.
have always been thankful for all your guidance and every single knowledge you all have passed down.
but i don't really like going back to secondary school though.
hehs!
and i am proud to say that i still remember my primary school song!
ok it's like if don't remember, you're such a disappointment to me 'cause being spent 6 years there and you need to sing it every Monday in school.
don't ask me about my secondary school song though.
i can't remember a single thing 'cause the super many verses and a school song of about 5 minutes made me hate learning it.
so haha.
yeap.
i am very happy today.

and yeap.
the ending of the semestral exam marks the start of something new.
and that is.
it's time to start planning, writing proposals, do all those logistics and publishing stuffs for the event to be planned by me and my assistant.
proposals got to be in by latest october.
i hate to do budget breakdown.
but damn it,
i need to so as to write the proposals.
should be glad that mine is just a small event.
oh wells,
got to start working on those stuffs now.

it's also time to work like mad.
seriously need money for Taiwan trip.
taking into consideration that i have got 6 weeks of ITP to clear next semester = 6 weeks of not working,
i seriously got to slog like mad now.
"be the master and not the slave of money."
i know, i know.
but i seriously need those money to fulfil my wish of going to Taiwan.
don't ever try persuading me.
i'm not going to give up this plan of going to Taiwan.
and i want to go with this bunch of friends whom i already planned with.
not going with any family members.
so that for once,
we can plan our own itinerary, played like mad, do crazy stuffs, sleep late and wake early, sleep late and wake late, eat all unhealthy stuffs, buy whatever i want.
i prefer people to do planning for me but at times, i love it much better that i can plan my own stuffs/trips.
haha!

ok nights people.
will update when i have got stuffs to update this blog again.
this will be it for now.

Fly Away.

2010-09-13T22:31:00.002+08:00

yes.
Jetstar.
he's flying away tomorrow at 6am onboard Jetstar to Cambodia.
just hope that the reception there for phones will be good so at least i can receive a message or two.
if not,
it's gonna be 5 days holiday for the both of us since he will only ba back on Sunday noon.
Angkor Wat is one of the places that i want to visit sooner or later.
what's going to Cambodia without going to Angkor Wat?
and i kept saying his school is stupid for not including the visit to Angkor Wat into their schedule.
is seriously dumb.
'cause this place so full of histories and stories of Cambodia is just a 5 minutes walk away from the hotel/hostel they are staying at.
don't you find it weird to not include this place of interest into the itinerary?
it would be so much more of a learning experience over at this historical site.
furthermore,
it's supposed to be a learning and eductional kind of tour for this Cambodia trip.
how ironic.

oh and i think i got to mention.
they are staying in a 2-3 stars hostel/hotel.
the room only cost SGD23.97 per night.
don't judge it by its price and the stars awarded.
'cause it looks very nice to me for the room and facilities they are providing with.
and i'm definitely gonna book this if i were to go to Cambodia Siem Reap unless i find better qualities offered at a lower rate as compared to this one.
i think you guys kind of know i am more of those budget travellers type depending on where i am going to.
but seriously, why not save more on accommodations so long it's able to meet my satisfaction right?
save more so as to travel to more countries.
it's called the Avista Hotel/Hostel by the way.
(it's rated 83% customer satisfaction as stated from the web that i linked with the 'Avista Hotel/Hostel')
they don't have any official websites and i don't seem to find any of their reviews too but definitely you can find pictures using Google or Yahoo.

i ate one piece of my berry treat from Hilton.
am happy i bought two that day 'cause i know very well that it won't fail me.
so i devoured one whole piece down just.
and the other one is of course to share.
the filling was just too good to be true and it's definitely worth the price i paid for.
the peach one was rather okay.
not as fantastic.
the chocolate and rose pearl one was splendid.
it smelt and tasted so nice and the fragrant of the rose in the mouth as the filling melt was just W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L!
and i seriously feels like going back to get more.
shall get it when i go lasering next week at Takashimaya.
gonna get it from the fair again.
feel like trying out the birdnest one too!
is not from Hilton and they don't seem to have samples to try on the taste.
i saw 2 parties selling it and if i want to buy,
definitely i will want to taste to see which one taste better right?

and i am so going to be doom for PI, MATSC and ENVSTA.
i can see the repeat module form smacking right into my face and asking me to fill them up already.
it's afterall not a good sign for you to be the only one/few feeling that the paper was difficult and the rest said it was pretty manageable and easy.
alrights.
now,
move on!
2 more papers to go and i'm out of it.

i seriously got a feeling that i will repeat the 3 modules next year.
so it's equals to getting my diploma like half a year later than my batch.
damn.
mummy gonna waste another $1,400+ on my Poly fees.
boo!

dear hazelnut mooncake.

2010-09-12T15:56:00.002+08:00

last Thursday,
i spent $55.65 on 8 pieces of Hilton's snowskin mooncakes which will end up to cost about $6.95 per piece.
i bought a total of 6 flavours.
2 pieces of berry treat,
2 piece of peach,
1 piece of mango,
1 piece of strawberry ivory,
1 piece of chocolate and rose pearl,
1 piece of hazelnut.
woke up today and i went to open my fridge only to find out that one piece of the mooncake was missing and i was only left with 7 pieces.
and that was the hazelnut one.
and i remembered very clearly that i said TO NOT EAT ANYONE OF THEM UNTIL I CUT IT UP.
the very reason being,
everyone can share the flavour and it's so damn freaking expensive.
so i asked and found out who consumed it and was told that my mum gave the permission to eat it.
was so pissed.
the reasons being:
1) i already freaking told you DO NOT EAT UNTIL I CUT THEM UP when you return from watching the competition and i still remembered my whole thing i told you was,
“二姨买 Raffles 的月饼还有汤圆。汤圆她将给你吃。Hilton的月饼是我买的，等到我切了才吃。”which part of the red words do you not understand?!
2) shouldn't you be listening to the permissions and everything from the person who paid for those stuffs.i don't care if it's mum or whoever older than me says you can eat it. 'cause i'm the one who's freaking paying for every single piece of it.
3) don't you even have the brain to think about cutting that piece into pieces for others to share before you freaking eating it up instead of having the WHOLE PIECE to yourself?! 1 cost a freaking $6.95 with purchase of 8 in a box and $8.50 for each piece sold individually. can't you freaking use your brain?! must you eat so much and be so greedy?

please grow up to know how to share and not have the whole piece to yourself.

is damn bloody sad and pissed off.
dampened my whole day's mood.

PS: not seeing all pieces in the fridge doesn't mean and seeing only 4 pieces left on the freezer doesn't mean that i had eaten the other 4 pieces. it's 'cause a few days before, mum said she needed the space so i shifted 4 peices down. please don't let the greedy-ness and those you-can't-control-your-eating get over you.

Baby Care.

2010-09-08T21:44:00.002+08:00

so i was stucked at home, cooped in my room revising more PI today.
the most dreaded paper for my whole semester.
everything about it is gonna be over and be done for good.

and other than being stucked doing revision,
my phone just kept vibrating non-stop (i placed my phone to silent mode 'cause i was revising my work).
the whole day down since 11am,
messages have been coming in.
every message was about how to coax and look after the little nephew of his.
i think he is dumb or should i say he deserved all the mess?
haha!
he only got himself to blame for always sleeping, eating, playing online games and watching dramas on the net when he's at home which now causes him to not know how to take care of a 1 year plus.
so i asked him to recap what i did yesterday.
i was at his house after i went back school for my McDonald's breakfast.
the whole day down was just to play with him,
change his diapers when it gets all stinked up and feed him with milk when time's up.
it's not difficult to know what time to feed him 'cause there's a tracking list for his meals on when's milk and when's solid food time.
and is easy to see from his face when he gets all tired and grouchy.
he tried throwing him into his bed according to the "time table" for him to sleep but he kept getting up to play yesterday.
so i played with him for another 1 hour,
read all the storybooks he brought to me and some educational books that were way too boring ~~till i felt like throwing myself to bed and leave him alone to play till he's tired and go sleep on his own =X~~.
so when he doesn't want to nap with the supposed timing today,
he asked me what to do.
i asked him to do exactly what we did yesterday.
he followed suit after i told him every single stuffs of what we did 'cause he was watching those serial shows on the net yesterday while i tried to coax and tire his nephew out so as to put him to nap.
and after his nephew went to bed for his nap just now,
he said he was tired.
oh wells,
who ever said that looking after a kid,
taking care of his/her needs and playing with a kid were an easy, sweat-less and non-tiring task.
and he haven't even tried nursing a baby to clean up his diapers, pee, bath and shit and he's already complaining.
making thing worse,
it's only half a day where he took care of his nephew's HALF routine.
so i started to wonder what if it's his own kid and he need to take care of this child till the very day he dies and part from the child?
what ways would he adopt to take care of the child and would he not be so lazy to get his eyes stucked only on the tv or laptop screen, eat, sleep, pee and shit and do everything to laze about but not getting his bums up and start doing work to take care of the kid.
it's gonna be an epic fail of him taking care of kids in the future to come from what i see today.

and yeap.
i'm still deciding.
to go to japanese buffet (Kiseki) or ice-cream buffet at Swensen's tomorrow after PI.
maybe in the end i would just settle in FC 2 for economic rice for lunch.
and when i walked pass FC 5 yesterday,
i didn't see signs showing that there would be a Starbucks opening there.
am i blind or i walked too fast to catch any glimpse of banners/notices being placed up?
the once-used-to-be-Pizza-Hut-area was under construction though.
but i seriously didn't see any banners/notices pasted up telling people that Starbucks is opening one outlet there like what the others (SP students) were saying.
somebody tell me please?

alrights.
shall update again tomorrow.
we shall see where i headed off to for lunch tomorrow.

PS: should i buy the very tempting bird nest snow skin mooncakes, yoghurt snow skin mooncakes and ice-cream snow skin mooncakes?

When Boredom Strikes....

2010-09-07T03:13:00.001+08:00

was too bored and so i changed my blogskin.
been wanting to do it for long but just can't get myself to do it.
pure laziness actually.
but oh wells...
since i got the mood today so why not.
it's not completely done yet though.
shall carry on with it when i the mood to touch up the blogskin is here.
till then,
this shall be it.
haha!

and yea.
taking a break from my studies now.
no papers till Thursday.
the super duper scary paper this coming Thursday.
and it's Process Instrumental, PI for short.
the module i am most afraid of.
ha!
don't ask me why.
think the tests i had previously for this module shows it all.
results aren't showing.
got to work harder.
that's all i can say.

so one paper was striked off my list just now (yesterday i meant if you were following the time so closely).
one of my most confident module out of the rest to score a grade A.
i want and i must actually.
paper was rather easy but tricky.
and the paper started like 10 minutes late instead of the timing given to us.
was cursing and swearing deep down knowing very well that it would give me lots of troubles to rush down to Taka.
and i hate rushing.
damn it!
managed to finish the paper like just 16 minutes before the ending time.
so i ended around 5.55pm.
phew.
if i were a minute late,
i would need to stay in the exam hall for like 15 minutes more till the ending time of the paper and poor TTT got to wait for me at the MRT station there alone.
i think all poly students should know that you're not allowed to leave the exam room 15 minutes before the paper ends.
or rather in my school if this rule is not applicable in other polytechnics.

went rushing all the way to Taka.
reached earlier than expected as compared to what we planned originally.
met up with Yan and CW at Taka McDonald's.
i bought KFC though 'cause i'm gonna have McDonald's breakfast later back at school.
slurps! =)
then halfway through,
Alan and YaYun joined in.
so we continued laughing and eating.
great thing Yan bought McDonald's 'cause one of the male staff wanted to shoo us to KFC side when he saw Alan wanting to sit down at the table.
he stopped 'cause he saw Yan's Mc.
and another lady wanted to shoo us too.
but Yan's Mc save the day again.
hahahha!
actually i felt guilty though.
4 people were eating KFC, 1 not eating anything and only one was eating McDonald's but we took up one long table from Mc.
after eating went to change and we wore the rest of the barangs barangs (belts, eagle-clawed shoes etc) at those seats placed at the stores at basement 1.
what a open concept toilet we had!
then went to performance venue and was super paiseh when one of the working staffs directed us to the fastest exit towards Taka Civic Plaza where our performance venue was supposed to be at.
oh well...

so everything was held in the rain.
supporters, viewers and audiences present were there just to see ONE performance which was ours.
haha!
but the rain just got bigger and bigger as time went by.
the starting effect of our drum was damn cool when those water droplets (from the continuous rain) splashed up when we first hit it.
all of a sudden,
i felt like we were playing Storm (a troupe that uses pails etc for percussions and sometimes they have water splurting out from those instruments) haha!
but this "cool" effect has got an adverse effect on our drums which we have a price to pay for.
and out of the lot of drums,
many of which were new.
all that i can say is,
people,
work hard for CNY next year 'cause we need lots of money for investments on new drums next year!
i just pray hard that those drums that suffered today will be able to pull through CNY next year.
and i seriously hate the super slippery and wet floor, shoes and drumsticks during the performance.
tons of times i nearly fell.
wanted to do the actions as they were supposed to be but after the first one which i nearly fell,
i gave up on the rest.
so i skipped the jumps and every actions that requires much movements of legs and increases the risks of falling.
i jogged instead of run,
i came in the beats later than supposed.
oh well.
who cares.
my safety is more important.
(you would realise at construction sites they always have got the "SAFETY FIRST" thingy and i adopted the idea too! hahah!)
was so afraid that those drumsticks would fly out of my hands when we need to use them once again after we placed them on the floor and use our hands to play the drums.
my drum skidded off the place it was supposed to stay and i went way off the alignment.
managed to push back a little.
hope the alignment difference didn't affect JunJie much.
all these scare the shit out of me.
but it's a good experience earned and lessons ought to be learnt from this.
it's seldom a chance for this to happen anyway.
so instead of complain,
seize the learning opportunity.

alrights.
going back to study now.
am too awake to sleep.
damn! =(

hooligan

2010-09-03T22:38:00.005+08:00

i swear and i seriously swear,
in my 1 year experience since i have worked in this industry till now,
i never met something like this till today.
and it was a seriously what-the-fuck situation.
if you're interested,
read on.
if not,
you can just skip this post.
it's gonna be a venting post ahead.

today while working and somehow during the afternoon,
the cafe and alfresco area was already packed.
and so we went shoo-ing people sitting at any area who didn't purchase our drinks or food.
old, young, guys, girls, fat, thin, race,
none of them were spared.
and there was the guy with his friend who always come to our store and sit at the smoking table with Wang's Cafe coffee.
we have been shoo-ing always,
EVERY SINGLE TIME!
the only possible reason for him and his friend to bring other store's stuff to our side and drink was probably due to Wang's not having any smoking area for their customers.
but it is against our policy to bring other store's stuff and sit at our areas when you don't purchase our drinks and food and also if you just sit there without any of our stuffs.
so my store manager asked me to go out and shoo people sitting around without our stuffs this afternoon during the peak hour.
so when i approached him,
i told him that he can't bring other stuffs over to our store without purchasing any of our stuffs.
he then stood up and shouted at me the following,
“我现在走了对不对？要我拿刀吗?!"
what the hell.
if i didn't come out,
you would be sitting there longer.
and is only after i told you then u stood up.

so may i know,
what rights do you have to:
1) tell me you're already going off when i reached your table and even before i told you that you can't stay without purchasing our stuffs?
2) shout at me and keep staring at me until you went into your store?
3) threaten me that you would want to take a knife?
4) shout at me when you know we have been shoo-ing you everytime you came and with myself,
i had shoo-ed you for more than 20 times excluding today's?
5) act like one hooligan when you are wrong and you know you're at fault every single time i went out to shoo you?!

i seriously hope you know that not because i am a female,
you can threaten me, ogle me and act one hooligan in front of me and think that because we are girls you can just ride over our heads.
please note that if i get hold of concrete proofs of you (1) threatening me, (2) threatening especially when you continue committing wrongs despite knowing and get shoo-ed by us EVERY SINGLE TIME and (3) hurt me using any weapons or verbally,
i can get you to court and police reports and we will see who will win the situation and law suit and we shall see who will have the last laugh.

i already have got plans on how to deal with you when i go out and shoo you next time (which i am very confident that I WILL again 'cause you are just one that doesn't learn!).
don't let me get concrete proofs of you or you're so gonna be dead!
i won't kill you 'cause i will end up in jail etc.
wasting my life in jail 'cause of you is not worth at all.
i will leave everything to the police and lawyers to settle with the proofs given.
just you wait!

you're lucky that i was still on shift.
if not i would have called down the police and rake up the whole matter.
i have been tolerating you for very long already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and for people who wants to know who that person is,
the 30+ year old botak guy managing the store beside the key shop which is beside our store.
in short,
the 30+ year old botal guy managing the store two stores beside ours which you can see from the bus stop outside BPP.
not towards the Wang's Cafe direction but the one going towards the McDonald's direction.
you can see the shop when you're walking at the outside pavement or when you're taking bus.
whether anot that botak is inside i don't know.
and he's the botak from the *TEP EROTS two shops away from ours!!!!!!!!!!!

*: kindly sort out the words yourself. it's not difficult to find out which store is it that i am talking about!

finally finished venting.
thanks for reading till here.
appreciated.
hope it shows you how disgusting some people can be.

and yes,
Starbucks is officially into SP and it's situated at FC 5.
damn.
i work at SB,
i go everywhere see SB,
now even in school i see SB.
what the hell.
i'm so sick and tired of SB!!!!!!!
i still remember how much i love the drinks and want to try out all the flavours before i joined in as a barista.
now i don't know what to drink every time when i'm working.
how ironic.
my mum hates beehoon and otahs and fried chicken wings and fried mee and everything else sold in their store.
working in a store which sells food and drinks makes you get bored of their stuffs.
people who don't,
treasures and cherishes them like mad.
俗语说得好，“物以稀为贵”阿！

but on a brighter side,
at least i will be able to get a decent caramel macchiato or any other coffees and not go to McCafe.
'cause i don't like the way they make the drinks and the taste of their coffees.
hehs!

tired.

2010-08-24T22:11:00.001+08:00

life has been rather mundane, following the routine to the maximum with not much changes.
all that i could recall from last week was working for closing, closing and closing for 3 straight days and opening for 2 days.
tired max.
and that continuous 3 days of closing killed me for the entire week.
missed out alot of shows too.
sian.
the only happy thing to be happy about is that i earned quite alot of money this month due to the 3 weeks of YOG.
have been studying too.
sleeping alot as well!
basically from 2+am all the way till 3pm the next day the last week 'cause of doing closing.

went out with Rona and Ting Yan last Saturday to Manhattan Fish Market.
the food isn't appetising but i managed to finish eating it.
about the same quality of Fish and Co but offered at a cheaper price.
gossipped and chatted a while after eating.
we were talking and sitted comfortably until TY rushed us off 'cause she wanted to use the toilet!
or not we could have chatted a lil longer i guess.
after that her bf came and we went separate ways.
after loitering around at seriously some super random places,
i finally recalled that there's a B&J outlet at The Grand Cathay.
so headed over only then.
had 2 scoops of their ice cream.
my all time favourite strawberry cheesecake flavour and i tried another flavour that day which was the raspberry yoghurt.
but the raspberry yoghurt is such a disappointment.
taste nothing about yoghurt but only raspberry taste.
sighs.
so me and rona continued chatting and gossiping when we were on our way to B&J.
after that she went for her event and i went home.
can't help but sleep.
so damn tired.
my eyelids were all so heavy.

after that was training.
cool max.
have fun and laughters while playing the dragon.
especially when coach asked us to run,
we all ran on the spot despite him keep asking us to run.
only then he asked us to run in circles then we understood.
that was the funniest of them all man!
and was luminous after that.
was giddy at the beginning.
after that was rather ok already.
felt that it was so dark even with some lights still on at the surroundings.
seriously wonder how i survived it through last time when we trained at a complete and proper luminous dragon setting.
somehow i am impressed by how fast we adapted to it the last time so easily unlike now.
is this one of the signs of us getting old?
and thanks Rona Soong for helping me out when i asked her to when nearing the end of the training.
'cause i felt myself feeling so cold and shivering.
i didn't want to be the first to faint when training for dragon.
and she changed me for something she fear.
thanks much! =)

and ya.
this whole week gonna be less hectic as compared to last week.
not that much of closing.
did opening yesterday.
and i got two closings (tomorrow and thursday) and a mid shift on Friday.
happy max 'cause this means that i have got more time for study!
yayness! =)

PS: and now i can't set my mind to whether i should go to Phuket this December. how how how? should i go or not go??????

stressed!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-06T18:24:00.001+08:00

finally everything is over.
all the quizzes and tests.
4 tests, 4 consecutive days.
never once i felt so tired.
and yesterday midnight/ today super early morning was the first time i broke down when i was studying for today's test.
freaking first time cried because i was studying for a test.
it's not even exams in the first place.
and worst still,
i don't remember feeling so stress till i broke down when i studied for "O"s back then.
craziness.
and i'm not going to touch any school work for the next few days till after the national day holidays which is the 10th August.
so i will start work only on the 11th.
i seriously need a break.
having too much stress these few days and ttt said that i am having symptoms of anxiety attacks already.
so i decided for a full stretch of rest and replenish my sleep, rest and rejuvenate myself and relax my mental conditions before i strike any mental illnesses, depressions or anxiety attacks due to the super stress and tensed up conditions that i am in.
really need some rest now.
and i am so looking forward to monday!
he's gonna treat me and we're going off to watch the plane and fireworks!!!!!!!!! =)

PS: i got to relax. relax and relax please. stop stressing yourself so much Pei Zhen!!!!!!!!

random updates.

2010-08-01T21:41:00.000+08:00

the aftermath of not shopping for long is always such a big disaster.
haix.
alright shall start with Friday.
since i don't have school,
went out to Causeway Point to get my phone fixed and got some basic necessities.
then was back home doing some school work and had dinner.
mum told me that there's a pervert roaming around my estate and asked me to be careful when i reached home, call if there were people following.
and then since i'm meeting TTT after work everytime when i do closing 'cause he wants the food. -.-
so i didn't made any thoughts about calling home at night 'cause someone is sending me back home.
and the stupid drizzle came drizzling when he was about to get out of the house.
he aborted the plan initially but he still came after i told him about the pervert.
so i guess he was travelling in the drizzle 'cause i was doing the closing outside in the drizzle.
luckily we managed to walk back to my place without any rain or drizzle.

carried on to Causeway Point on Sat morning to collect my phone.
since i did some window shopping on Friday,
i already aimed some things that i want to buy.
so i ended up buying tops.
but i didn't manage to find any long sleeve collared shirts and bottoms.
i seriously need to find long sleeve shirts to wear to work.
the air con there is mad crazy cold!
so to prevent myself from getting frozen,
i seriously need those long sleeves!!!!!
shopping again soon!!!!!!!!!!
and some customers just keep complaining that the air con is freaking cold when they just order, pay and out they go.
not staying in the shop some more.
come on,
we can't be any warmer.
colder instead!!!!!!!
the air con is right on top of us at the counter.
one above each.
so equals to two.
those who went to the cafe before you should know the structure.
and so i seriously hope no one complains to me anymore regarding the air con.
and if,
the temperature can be adjusted,
you think we will let it be at that ice age temperature?
we would have adjusted it long ago la!

ok.
whatever it is,
i'm so going to continue shopping till i find my long sleeve collared shirt!
have to be collared la.
if not can't wear to work.

and it's confirm to be at Marina Barrage on National Day unless it rains or i don't feel like going there last minute! =) =X